I Spy With My Little GI
by Samwise Baggins
Summary: Colonel Flagg searches the 4077 for a spy, again. However, this time, Burns finds one for him. And what does this have to do with Father Mulcahy?
1. Old Faces, New Places

Title: Old Faces, New Places

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 1/ 17

Characters: **_Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy_**; **_Captain Emil Standish (guest star)_**; **_"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_**; **_"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_**; **_Major Frank Burns_**; **_Major Margaret Houlihan_**; **_Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_**; "Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly; Nurse Kealani Kellye; Private Igor Straminsky; Corporal Max Klinger; Colonel Sam Flagg; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

Rating: PG-13: Blood and Language (it is a war, after all), and maybe the odd sexual innuendo.

Summary: Colonel Flagg searches the 4077 for a spy, again. However, this time, Burns finds one for him. And what does it have to do with Father Mulcahy?

Spoiler: Random episodes back and forth throughout the entire 11 seasons. As I did not get to see all of the episodes, nor anything in order until season 5, I'm not sure which information truly relates to which episode.

Category: Drama; Action

Disclaimer: _M-A-S-H_ is a trademark of Dr. Richard Hornberger and Twentieth Century Fox. I am in no way connected with these people, and I do not claim ownership to these characters, lands, or names. I have borrowed them to share a story... and most likely not a story any of them would have written, had they had the time or no. I am making no money from this, and it is just for my entertainment, and that of free entertainment to a select group of friends. Thank You.

Distribution: Please ask first?

Setting: M.A.S.H. 4077 Compound

Note: A Ka-Bar is a 7 inch blade (12 inch with handle) survival knife used by the Marines. Often patients were stripped of anything explosive, or any firing weapons; however, they were allowed to keep knives in case of fire. As we were not allowed to save the patients, they would need the blades to cut their way out of a burning tent. (If you think that was a bad rule, think of it this way: if you go back to save a patient, you may lose two lives. By leaving the patients to save themselves, we would save at least one life… That's Military thinking for you.)

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A cool wind blew over the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital 4077. Most of the staff was about their various duties, running to and fro or stuck in the operating room with the large amount of casualties that had come in over the last few hours. Of those outside, all but one were busy with tagging, triage, and basic life saving aid.

The one left was Father Mulcahy, the company Chaplain. Normally, the priest could be found in the O.R. or at the least among the patients in Post-Op. This time, however, the soft spoken man was wandering purposefully among those still awaiting their turns at surgery, providing comfort where he could and the occasional Last Rites for those who hadn't made it. He had, thankfully, only had two of those that day.

He bent to speak softly with one man, noting the wounded shoulder had stopped bleeding. That should be a good sign. Suddenly, with a start, Father Mulcahy looked around in wonder then sent up a small prayer of thanks. The casualties were down to three men, and the staff didn't seem too worried about getting the men into surgery as soon as possible. The deluge was over… for the moment.

"Johnny?"

The voice behind the priest was husky, youthful and surprised, but didn't sound like its bearer was in pain. It was a familiar voice, actually, but the Father went on with his work. He would check on the lad next, to make sure he wasn't delusional or calling for a friend no longer around.

"Johnny Mulcahy?"

'_Johnny?_' He was surprised that anyone would know his childhood nickname. Most people, if they even used his given name, thought it was _Francis_. He'd informally dropped the _John_ when entering Loyola University. Father Mulcahy turned, trying to seek out the speaker. "It is you! Well, will you look at that? All this way to find a friend." There was laughter in the familiar voice now.

Father Mulcahy finally spotted the speaker. It was a slim lad, probably no more than eighteen or so if his face displayed his age. He was dressed in traditional Army gear, but in layers against the uncertain weather, cover pulled low on his brow. The Father smiled, a bit mystified where he'd have met this boy before. No… not a boy, despite the youthful looks. He had a Captain's bars on his collar tabs.

Seeing his confusion, the soldier slid his cap back, exposing a set of auburn curls and laughing hazel eyes. He then flicked the brim of his cover with a finger and winked. A loud, contagious kind of laughter rolled from the soldier: a sound much bigger than the slight body that emitted it.

Realization dawned.

"Emil Standish?" Father Mulcahy's smile broadened, delight almost vibrating from the gentle man. He rushed forward and gave the petite figure an enthusiastic hug, joining the laughter. "What are you doing at the 4077?"

Emil hugged the man back. "Uncle Sam agreed with my father that the Army would be good for me." Another laugh made the priest smile wider as he nodded. "So, I followed in the footsteps of my ancestors and became a surgeon."

"A doctor…" he nodded again and put a hand on the slim shoulder of his friend. The doctor was definitely smaller than his clothes made him look, and that was small enough to pass for a teenager. "It suits you, Emil. Are you assigned to us?"

The redhead hefted a small pack and shook his head. "No, the 0296 up front. Some of the men were wounded on a scouting run and got sent down here. Since I haven't had a break since this entire debacle began, the Higher Ups insisted I go with them and call it R and R."

"_You_?" Father Mulcahy was surprised. "_Rest_?" He glanced briefly around; noting the last three patients had been brought inside. As no one was calling for his services, a definitely welcome respite, the priest let himself linger with his friend.

"Yes, I know. I'll go stir crazy in a couple of hours. Think your surgeons would mind if I tag along and help? I need something to do during all this _relaxing_ the Army's forcing on me."

Nodding enthusiastically, the priest started reaching for his friend's pack, which was readily relinquished. "They'll welcome your help, Emil. We always seem to have more than enough patients." He started walking towards the officers' tents. Emil fell into step beside him.

Pushing his cover back low over his brow, the doctor tilted his head thoughtfully. "And what about you? Why are you here? Boxer turned soldier?"

Father Mulcahy laughed and gestured to the cross on his collar tab. "Actually, I'm a Chaplain."

Emil stopped, causing the Father to stumble to a halt as well. "What?" He laughed again. "Now I know why you didn't come to U-Penn with me. Priest, huh?" He shook his head, but didn't seem in the least disappointed or confused. "So, should I start calling you _Father John_ now?"

"No… please…" the Chaplain made a face and held up his free hand, shaking his head. "Johnny's just fine, Emil." He paused only a moment before changing the subject. "Why don't I show you around?" Father Mulcahy pushed open the door to the nurse's tent without looking at it.

"Whoa!" The other man stopped and shook his head, not setting foot near the door his friend politely held open for him. "You've taken a wrong turn, Johnny. That's a nurses' tent."

Father Mulcahy looked at the door in some confusion. He glanced around, noting that surgery had started getting out and staff members were beginning to notice the pair. They were especially taking note of the fact that their Chaplain had nearly led a new doctor into the nurses' tent. He frowned softly and turned back to Emil.

"As much as I'd be flattered to stay here, I think it wouldn't be allowed. Why don't…"

But the request was interrupted by the arrival of surgeons _Trapper_ John MacIntyre and _Hawkeye_ Benjamin Franklin Pierce. "Who's your friend, Father?" Hawkeye sounded amused though tired from hours of hard, delicate work.

Trapper looked just as worn out, yet just as amused. "And why are you leading him astray, Father?" It was readily apparent he'd used the title as emphasis to his comment, rather than a respectful name, but the jest was meant in good humor and did not offend the man of the cloth.

"Oh… well… uh…"

Hawkeye grinned wider and held out his hand, which was grasped firmly by a rather smaller hand. He kept to himself, for the moment, his surprise at the youth of the Captain he greeted. "Hello, Ohwelluh. It's a definite pleasure to have you here."

"And already chasing nurses. It's good to see you've got your priorities straight." Trapper's voice indicated rising humor.

The Father frowned repressively at the two men. "Captain Emil Standish… surgeon." He let the door to the nurses' tent shut and moved away from it a step or two. "We grew up together in Philadelphia." He went on to introduce the other two doctors. "This is Captain Pierce."

"Call me Hawkeye," came the pleasant reply.

"And this is Captain MacIntyre."

"Call him Trapper," Hawkeye interrupted again.

Trapper offered his hand to Emil, noting just how young the kid looked, just how small his hands were. But despite the appearance of youth that hung around the redhead, there was age and sorrow in his eyes. The blond Trapper shook himself; he'd seen eyes like that far too often… the eyes of men from the front lines. This kid had no business being in a war; none of them did, really.

His morose thoughts were further interrupted by the enthusiasm in Hawkeye's voice as the darker haired man begged, "Please say you've been assigned here?"

"I could, but it'd be giving false hope." Emil met their greetings with his own happy enthusiasm.

"Emil is from the 0296."

Both surgeons did a double take and glanced over the new doctor in shock. Hawkeye frowned suddenly and asked, in quite a steady, calm voice, "You came with those boys from the scouting party?"

The redhead's smile dropped away and the sadness increased in his hazel eyes. "Yes. The unit scouted their way right into an unknown minefield." Reaching up, Emil pushed his cover back again and flexed his fingers, like a habitual nervous tick. "I patched them up as best I could on the move and in the mud. How are they?"

Father Mulcahy could sense that the easy conversation from a few minutes before had completely ended. His childhood friend had turned into a serious doctor discussing patients under his care. Rather than interrupt, the man gestured towards the VIP tent, noting the other three absently fell into step behind him. He assured himself that he'd get plenty of time to catch up with Emil later. Patients always came first if a doctor was worth his salt.

"They'll recover. I had wondered whose handiwork we were looking over. You even had enough time to stitch up Yeverson?"

"He was the only one I had time to do anything extensive on. He wouldn't stop bleeding, and the others were under control. I had to go in, even on the back of a jeep." With a frown, Emil looked up at Hawkeye, who was a good foot taller. "When I arrived, a pompous man with the face of a ferret wouldn't let me any further."

Gales of laughter met this comment, though Father Mulcahy merely shook his head. Hawkeye gestured to a different direction than the one the priest had chosen. "Hey, if you're staying awhile, we have a spare bunk in the Swamp."

"Yeah, if you don't mind the wildlife. We've got a ferret in our tent." Trapper grinned widely and sent Hawkeye into more chortles.

"You're going to scare him off, Trap. Oh, there's Ferret-Face now. Hey, Frank… Margaret."

Majors Burns and Houlihan were approaching from the direction of Post Op. Both of the ranking officers gave Hawkeye a repressive look, Burns going as far as to frown at the stranger as well. Margaret, for her part, let her eyes roam then dismissed him as too young to be worth her time. They only stopped when Trapper called out to them.

"Aren't you going to say hello, Frank? Captain Standish came from the front lines just to spend time with us."

"As if I wanted to speak to friends of yours, MacIntyre." He turned a superior look on the others, not quite looking as superior as he did ridiculous. Surprise crossed his features when he noted the small doctor and Frank shook his head. "Haven't I met you before?"

Doctor Standish, for his part, actually managed to endear himself to the two Majors by instantly saluting and calling out "Sir, yes, sir." He sounded sincere, though there was laughter in his eyes, which Frank didn't notice. "You stopped me from going into Casualty Receiving, sir, with the men of the 0296."

Trapper gestured to the shorter man and nodded to Burns. "You might want to say you're sorry, Frank. Doctor Standish is the one that sewed up Yeverson… the one you were so impressed with." He had a vindictive look about him that Frank failed to home in on.

"I don't believe we were introduced yet, Doctor. Some people have no manners." Margaret glared at Trapper and Hawkeye, excluding the Father from her derogatory remark, at least. "I'm Major Margaret Houlihan. This is Major Frank Burns. Are you our new surgeon?"

Puzzled suddenly, Frank looked at Margaret. "I didn't know we were getting a new surgeon. Why wasn't I told?"

"Oh, Frank." Margaret shot him an exasperated look, a bit annoyed that he'd suddenly make her look foolish with his unexpected questions.

Frank continued his juvenile tirade. "As ranking physician I should be informed of all staff changes. It's my right." His voice ended in a slight whine.

Hawkeye slipped his hands into the pockets of the lab coat he was still wearing over his surgical scrubs. Turning a grin on Trapper, the Head Doctor jumped in with "Come on. We'll help you get settled into the Swamp."

"And in a dry martini," added Trapper pleasantly, ignoring the disgust displayed by the two majors.

"Then you can see your men," Hawkeye finished.

Margaret frowned as Frank stiffened in indignation. "And what makes you think Doctor Standish wishes to be included in your degradation? The post-op is this way, Doctor. Father, his bag can go in the VIP tent."

"Quite." Frank started briskly walking back the way he'd come, with Margaret following at a smart clip. They apparently assumed they were being followed.

Emil threw an exasperated look after them and turned towards the other three men. "Thanks for the offer and taking my bag…" Then his eyes rested on Father Mulcahy. "We'll play catch up later, Johnny. I really have to check on the men." And with that, the petite doctor was hurrying off after the much taller doctor and nurse.

"Johnny?" Both Hawkeye and Trapper had spoken, glancing from the retreating figure to each other then to the priest.

Father Mulcahy looked at them, and shook his head. "I do have a name other than Father. I should bring Emil's bag to the VIP tent, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen."

Hawkeye reached over and snagged the bag. "It's okay, Father, we don't mind. We'll put Emil in Spearchucker's old bunk."

The Chaplain's eyes widened and he looked very doubtful about the set up. "I think we should wait and see if Emil wishes to share a tent. Emil tends to be a private person." He firmly took the bag back.

Trapper shrugged. "Sure, we can move him in later, right, Hawk? See you, Father."

With a nod and farewell, Father Mulcahy walked into the VIP tent, leaving the surgeons staring after him.

"Emil is awfully young looking to have grown up with the Father," Hawkeye's voice was thoughtful.

"Yeah, I wish I had his beautician. Sometimes I feel way too old." The conversation was suddenly too serious for either man's taste so the blond turned to the brunet and shrugged. "Who knew he had friends besides us?"

"Yeah, well, I guess he has to have someone to write to besides the Big Man himself." Hawkeye grinned back.

A slightly panicky voice came from behind and the two men whirled to see Colonel Henry Blake, still in surgical scrubs, walking by. "General Clayton? What about General Clayton?" His eyes were bloodshot and he seemed a bit out of it… though that could be due to long hours or his regular drinking, it wasn't certain.

Doctor Pierce grinned mischievously, "Oh, didn't you hear, Henry? He's canceling the war in favor of yachting on the Yangtze."

"Oh…" Henry shook his head, puzzled, not understanding and not wanting to. He passed by his staff members and headed into the mess tent without further comment.

Continued in Chapter Two: Awash With Doubts


	2. Awash With Doubts

Title: Awash With Doubts

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 2/ 17

Characters: _Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy_; **_Captain Emil Standish (guest star)_**; _"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_; _"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; **_Major Frank Burns_**; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; _Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_; "Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly; Nurse Kealani Kellye; Private Igor Straminsky; Corporal Max Klinger; Colonel Sam Flagg; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

Note: Some 'chapters' will be longer than others. This was actually a way to break up a story that would be over 40 pages long otherwise. Enjoy

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Opening the shower tent door, Frank Burns could hear water running. He frowned hoping it wasn't Pierce or MacIntyre. Those two liked to play pranks on him or make odd comments. Frank just didn't feel like trading insults with the pair, he was in too good a mood after that brief stint in Post-Op with Doctor Standish.

The man had been remarkable with the patients. He had also set a fine example for the enlisted men by giving Major Burns the respect he felt he deserved. It was rare indeed in this backward camp to get the kind of treatment due someone of his rank. Frank hoped that between Margaret and himself they could prevent the young man from getting warped by those drunken deviants.

Warm air coursed out to wrap around Frank as he stood debating about going in. The voice, young and husky, that wafted to him reassured him that all would be well. After all, it was Doctor Standish himself in there.

"Could whoever opened the door please close it? The draft is horrible… Thank you."

'_Yes, polite and well spoken. This boy will someday make a very fine surgeon. Odd that he's got a Captain's bars so young. Perhaps he saved a General's life?_' With a nod, Frank decided that sounded perfectly reasonable.

"I apologize. I'm just coming in now." And Major Burns put action to words. He stepped into the shower tent and firmly shut the door, starting to strip down in preparation for his shower. With a smile, he called out loudly enough to be heard over the water, "It's Major Burns, Captain Standish. I trust you found everything you need?"

"Yes, thank you." The other doctor sounded withdrawn, though still polite. Probably didn't like to share his shower time.

Frank shrugged and moved to get into the empty shower stall. He paused, smile turning to a puzzled frown. Why was Doctor Standish bathing in his shirt and shorts?

The lad had his back to Frank and it was hard to see in the water and steam, but there was no mistaking the green T-shirt and boxers he had on. Frank pulled the chain in his stall to turn on his own supply of water, trying not to look again at the doctor next to him. He didn't want to be labeled a pervert, after all. Despite the rhythmic comfort of the hot water, though, Major Frank Burns couldn't relax the way he wanted to.

The puzzle of Emil Standish filled his mind.

Continued in Chapter Three: Revelations


	3. Revelations

Title: Revelations

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 3/ 17

Characters: _**Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy**_; **_Captain Emil Standish (guest star)_**; _"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_; _"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; _Major Frank Burns_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; _Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_; "Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly; Nurse Kealani Kellye; Private Igor Straminsky; Corporal Max Klinger; Colonel Sam Flagg; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

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"Johnny?"

A knock on the Chaplain's door drew the man out of his deep thoughts. He pushed away the personal problems for the moment, calling out "Come in, Emil." There were some very pressing questions he wished answered, and his own concerns could only distract him from the coming confrontation.

Smiling, the small redhead entered, letting the door softly close behind him. "Hey, Johnny." His auburn curls were still damp from a recent shower. The doctor moved over to take a chair, not standing on ceremony.

That was a good sign in Father Mulcahy's eyes. He smiled and gestured to a pitcher of water on the Army-issue table. "Let's talk, Emil."

"Ah, that sounds ominous." Still smiling, apparently quite relaxed, the young man moved to pour himself a drink. "Is this as a confession or old friends?"

Father blinked, his head lifting slightly as his eyes widened. "What does it need to be?"

Emil slid once more into his chair. "Friends for now… might get serious later. So, you wonder about my life since you left, right?"

"Particularly your life as an Army Surgeon." The Chaplain leaned forward, settling elbows on knees and folding his hands together, fingers interlocked. "What happened, Emil? Something…" thinking for a moment, searching for a phrase, the priest soon gave up and sighed, sitting back in his own chair, "something is different…"

"Not the clothes; I've always dressed like this. Father liked giving us his cast-off uniforms." The doctor looked straight at the priest and smiled, head tilting to one side. "It can't be my profession. I've wanted to be a doctor for a long time. Is it that I finally chose the military? Because I didn't; I was drafted."

The Chaplain shook his head, confused. "How is that possible? They don't draft… people like you, Emil." He didn't know why he shied around the words. They were normal, harmless words. But something, somehow, gave him the impression that perhaps Emil wished to keep his secrets close. In the 4077, secrets spoken out loud had a tendency to be overheard, after all.

His friend laughed. "Oh, that. Well, they did this time. You see, when each of my brothers was old enough, they signed up for Selective Service. When it came my turn, Father signed me up without considering the ramifications." Emil shrugged. "I don't mind, really. My Commanding Officer already knows everything he needs to. In fact, so does his Commanding Officer. Everything is perfectly above board, Johnny."

Standing, Father Mulcahy strode towards the desk on one side of his tent. He thought about his friend's words, about what he knew of Emil. This wasn't an easy problem, no matter how the doctor assured him it was cleared with the authorities. Finally, he turned to face the seated surgeon.

"Emil…"

The smile was gone from the petite man's face. He stood and shook his head. "Don't make me request a confessional, Johnny. I don't want to do that." He sighed and moved to his friend's side, seeing the worry and sorrow in the priest's eyes. "Look, I'll tell you everything as a friend if I can, but I have to swear you to secrecy. I'm not…" he shook his head. "Maybe I should demand the confessional. Then I know you wouldn't tell." Emil raised his eyes to meet those of Father Mulcahy's. "I know how seriously you take your promises; I can only think you'd take vows to God just as seriously."

Father Mulcahy made his decision. "Emil, we don't need the confessional. The only way I'd say something is if somebody's life was in danger." He gestured towards the chairs, taking his seat once more. "Tell me… what's troubling you, old friend?"

Continued in Chapter Four: Do You Hear What I Hear?


	4. Do You Hear What I Hear?

Title: Do You Hear What I Hear?

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 4/ 17

Characters: _**Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy**_; **_Captain Emil Standish (guest star)_**; _**"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce**_; _**"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre**_; **_Major Frank Burns_**; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; _Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_; "Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly; Nurse Kealani Kellye; Private Igor Straminsky; Corporal Max Klinger; Colonel Sam Flagg; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

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Frank Burns raised his hand to knock on the Chaplain's door. He was going to ask if Father Mulcahy knew where Doctor Standish was; Frank wanted to give him a proper tour of the camp. Shower habits aside, the doctor was still remarkable and deserved a chance to see how a real professional worked.

"Is this as a confession or old friends?"

That sounded like the young doctor. With a sick looking smile, which actually was his normal happy look, the surgeon reached for the doorknob. He couldn't hear exactly everything in the tent, the sounds of the camp ebbed and flowed over the conversation after all, but it sounded like the doctor was in a good mood. Suddenly, he paused and debated knocking or merely walking in after all. Emil's voice sounded again.

"I've wanted to be a doctor for a long time." The husky voice fell softer and Frank frowned, curiosity warring with manners. Curiosity, naturally, won out as the voice rose a bit once more. "I was drafted."

Father's voice rose enough to be barely understood. Now how was anyone supposed to eavesdrop on a man when he wouldn't speak in normal tones? "…Possible? They don't draft… people like you, Emil."

'_People like you? What does that mean?_' Frank dropped his hand and leaned a bit closer, pretending, for the benefit of anyone walking by or watching, to be studying the lettering on Father Mulcahy's sign. A laugh signaled Doctor Standish was answering, but the words weren't as clear as before.

"Oh… they… this time… when… was old enough… selective… my turn… without considering the ramifications… mind... knows everything he needs... so does his… everything is perfect… Johnny."

Mouth hanging open, Frank Burns stood outside the Chaplain's door. All of the previous good thoughts concerning the new surgeon were forgotten as Frank overheard bits of the conversation inside. The conversation made little sense… unless… Frank wanted to throw up.

"Emil…"

'_How can the Father stand to be in the same tent as that pervert?_' Frank wondered desperately. Something had to be done. Either the man was not as _masculine_ as he should be, or he had a dire secret the military should know about… or both.

"Tell you everything… swear you to secrecy… I'm not… I should demand… I know… tell… how seriously… take your… I can only… take..."

Darn! The man was talking lower, causing Frank to have to practically press his ear to the door to listen in. The stronger, but still soft, voice of the Father interrupted the Major's thoughts.

"Emil… don't need... somebody's life… in danger… trouble?"

A new thought came over Major Burns. Maybe the man wasn't homosexual at all. Maybe… maybe he wasn't against women but the United States! It was extremely plausible; after all, the Chaplain was known to protect wrongdoers.

Determination flowed anew through the listener. He knew what he had to do. He had to gather more clues, and then bring the evidence to those in power. The next voice, however, caused Frank to start and whirl around, eyes widening in guilty fright.

"Hey, Frank, lose something?" Hawkeye grinned.

Trapper chimed in, "yeah, like your humanity?"

"Ha ha, very funny." Frank straightened importantly. "I happen to be on a top secret mission of great importance and secrecy, and I'm not about to tell you what it is, because it's a secret. So get lost!

The voices inside the tent stopped suddenly, though the two Captains didn't seem aware that anyone had even been in the tent, let alone talking about things better left not overheard. Father Mulcahy opened his door and looked at the three officers outside. "Is there something I can do for you, gentlemen?"

Hawkeye grinned. "No, we're all right, Father. Frank's lost his mind and needed help looking for it."

"Have you checked behind the fridge, Frank? Everything seems to wind up there." Trapper grinned wider at the Major's indignant look.

Father Mulcahy nodded. "I'm busy at the moment, Major Burns. If you could come back later, I'd be happy to discuss whatever it is you need to."

With a frown and grimace, the Major strode quickly off, ignoring the laughter of the two Captains and the admonishing murmurs of the Chaplain.

Continued In Chapter Five: One Step Ahead


	5. One Step Ahead

Title: One Step Ahead

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 5/ 17

Characters: _Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy_; **_Captain Emil Standish (guest star)_**; _"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_; _"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; _Major Frank Burns_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; **_Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_**; _**"Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly**_; Nurse Kealani Kellye; Private Igor Straminsky; Corporal Max Klinger; Colonel Sam Flagg; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

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_Radar_ Walter O'Reilly, company clerk, eased open the sealed envelope addressed to Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake. He had all sorts of tricks for getting into mail, though usually he didn't bother resealing the missives, after all he needed some way to stay a step ahead of the Colonel… Henry Blake needed all the help he could get.

When the young Corporal slipped the crisp, folded sheet of paper from the envelope he could _feel_ its importance. It was going to be a request of major significance… something that could change the tide of the war. Radar could tell all of that without even having unfolded the note; it was one of the reasons he was called _Radar_. Just as he could hear helicopters before anyone else, predict what Henry or some of the others wanted before they asked, and tell who was calling on the phone before it even rang, Radar could sense how a letter would flow before reading it.

Upon reading the letter, however, a sense of anti-climax engulfed the young man. A request for First Aid training, how could that be earth shattering? It didn't make sense to the Corporal… why'd he have such a strong feeling about this letter if it was nothing more than a medical training request?

He shook his head and got up to prepare the paperwork Henry would need. After all, the man would certainly approve of such a thing. It would give the doctors something to do in their time off, aside from drinking, gambling, and chasing nurses. Sounded like the type of thing Majors Burns and Houlihan would certainly back up, and therefore would pressure the Base Commander into. With a shrug, Radar determined that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if the Doctors had something interesting to do when they weren't working.

After getting the request form and other documents in order, and completely filled out except Colonel Blake's signature, the Corporal moved towards his Commanding Officer's inner sanctum. He knocked, hearing Henry call out something unintelligible. He was writing letters for himself, rather than dictating them to Radar, so had to concentrate harder than normal. Radar walked into the room and presented the letter.

"Sir, there's a letter for you."

Henry looked up and smiled, eyes lighting up. "I didn't know it was time for mail call." He took the letter and eagerly went to open it, thinking he'd gotten a letter from home. When he noticed it was already opened, Henry looked exasperated and glanced up at Radar. "It's open."

"Yes, Sir, sometimes they get that way when someone opens the envelope." Leaving the statement at that, Radar didn't move from his position next to Henry Blake's desk. He also made no further admissions of guilt, letting the man figure things out if he could, which normally didn't happen.

True to form, Colonel Blake merely said "Oh," and went on to pull out the letter and read it. He frowned and puzzled over the contents for some minutes. Finally, Henry looked up at Radar and opened his mouth to question him.

Radar beat him to the punch, though Henry continued talking as if Radar hadn't said a word. "I've gone over the duty schedules, and as long as there are no major groups of casualties, the training should work out, Sir." Oddly enough, as often happened with Radar, Henry had been asking "Radar, go over the duty schedules, and as long as there are no major groups of casualties, the training should work out."

The Colonel frowned and growled out, "Will you stop doing that?"

"Sorry, Sir." Radar offered the clipboard of paperwork.

"And what is this, Radar?" Henry looked a bit put out.

Radar glanced over the clipboard as if he'd not been the one to hand it over a second ago. "It's the papers you're about to request, Sir."

Henry looked blank, shrugged, and started signing without reading through them. "Oh, and Radar, get me the forms for this Training to sign."

A short pause as Radar looked at Henry in fond exasperation, then "Yes, Sir. You're signing them, Sir."

"Oh." Henry glanced over the papers. "Good work, Corporal." He finished the last signature and handed the clipboard back. "And…"

Again Radar and Henry spoke simultaneously, "I'll make sure you aren't disturbed as you write your letters, Sir."

"Make sure I'm not disturbed as I write my letters, Radar."

The younger man spoke a few words beyond Henry's finish, however. "Unless it's a matter of great importance." He blinked behind his glasses at Henry's inscrutable look.

Frowning, Colonel Blake waved his hand. "That'll be fine, Radar. Better go file those." With that, he sat back at his desk to pick up his personal mail once more. Suddenly, he looked up as if just struck by something. "Radar? Who's Captain Standish?"

"Oh, that's a doctor friend of the Father's. He's from the 0296. I'll just go file these, Sir."

Looking back down at his letters, Henry responded, "That's all right then. As long as the Father is vouching for him." He bit the tip of his tongue in concentration as he added, "Get right on filing that, Radar."

"Yes, Sir." The Corporal nodded and walked out, slipping the signed forms into an outgoing envelope for ICOR to review. He walked right back into the office. "Sir."

Henry was starting to get exasperated. "What is it, Radar?" He glanced up and saw a youthful looking soldier with cover in one hand and file in the other. Auburn curls, hazel eyes, and a pleasant smile made the Colonel feel almost protective of the lad, a boy who appeared to be as young as Corporal O'Reilly. He suddenly couldn't recall what he'd been doing before the soldier walked in… couldn't have been too important.

"Doctor Standish to see you, Sir."

Colonel Blake nodded, still staring at Emil. "Send him right in, Radar." He paused a minute and added, "What can I do for you?"

Doctor Standish nodded at Radar with a smile, taking Henry's odd behavior in stride. "Thank you, Corporal."

"Oh, you're welcome, Sir." Radar smiled back at the man, who was actually a couple inches shorter even than he was, standing perhaps five foot one in all. The clerk stepped back, but didn't leave, shamelessly listening to the conversation that took place.

Emil turned to Henry and offered a salute, which the Colonel returned, almost dazed. "Captain Standish, Sir. Surgeon assigned to the 0296. I've got orders to stay here until my men are shipped out." He stepped forward briskly and handed over the file. "Also, I sent a request for training for my men. I'd like to discuss the request at a convenient time, Sir."

Henry blinked, staring down at the petite redhead. "Uh, Radar…"

"You have a few minutes free now, Sir."

"When do I have a few minutes free?"

They looked at each other and Henry nodded. "All right. Let's talk about it. Have a seat, Doctor." He gestured towards a chair and watched the surgeon sink into it. "It's approved. Now that that's out of the way…"

Surprised, Emil slowly nodded. "Sir? I'll be going to ICOR for permission to have MASH units train frontline soldiers on a rotating basis. Are you sure your staff is prepared to have that kind of extra duty placed on them? After all, the wounded never stop coming and it would be eating considerably into their off time." His husky voice sounded genuinely concerned.

Radar smiled at the sensible question. It wasn't often someone outside of a MASH took into consideration the amount of work the staff did. Hawkeye would like this guy, he was certain.

Henry found himself smiling, definitely liking this Captain. "I'll have Radar check with the staff and get back to you, Standish." He'd forgotten all about the signed approval. A sudden thought hit him. "Why _do_ you want the frontline soldiers taught first aid?"

"So they can tend each other right away if able. It might cut back on casualties trickling backwards towards the MASH units, Colonel. Might I work while here, Sir? I get restless if I sit too long."

With a nod, Henry approved the surgeon's latest request.

Emil stood. "I'll be waiting for your decision on the training, Sir." He saluted once more and turned, leaving Radar and Blake in the office.

Both looked at each other, then Radar shrugged. "It's a good idea, Sir. Shall I go ask the officers?"

"Yes." Colonel Blake pulled his temporarily forgotten letter over. "And during his free time here, have that doctor help out where he can. He looks like the kind that gets restless if he sits too long."

Radar called out, "Yes, Sir," in a rather hesitant voice. He left the tent, taking the envelope of already signed training forms with him. Right away he could think of three officers that might approve this prevention training. After he talked to Hawkeye and the others, he'd send the papers on. The young Corporal headed out to find the surgeons and head nurse.

Continued in Chapter Six: Situation Normal


	6. Situation Normal

Title: Situation Normal

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 6/ 17

Characters: _Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy_; _Captain Emil Standish (guest star)_; _"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_; _"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; _Major Frank Burns_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; **_Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_**; _**"Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly**_; Nurse Kealani Kellye; Private Igor Straminsky; Corporal Max Klinger; _**Colonel Sam Flagg**_; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

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Henry Blake was sitting behind his desk writing a letter to his eldest daughter. Finally finished, and in an envelope, were letters to his wife and younger daughter. Naturally, the children were only receiving very short notes, but Colonel Blake still struggled with it, wanting to say exactly the right things to his family so far away.

Unfortunately, the sound of his office door opening broke his train of thought and caused him to scratch his pen down the page. With a frown, Henry looked up. "This better be good, Radar… oh!" Standing, confusion settling over him, the man gripped the edge of his desk and wondered desperately where Hawkeye was when he was needed.

"Sending for Captain Pierce now, Sir," called a young voice from the outer room.

"Yes," Henry called back, still staring awkwardly at his visitor. "And send for Captain Pierce while you're at it."

A very brief pause followed by, "Yes, Sir," trailed back.

Fidgeting, wishing for a brisk drink suddenly, Colonel Blake stared uncomfortably at Colonel Sam Flagg.

Continued in Chapter Seven: Confrontation


	7. Confrontation

Title: Confrontation

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 7/ 17

Characters: _Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy_; _Captain Emil Standish (guest star)_; _"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_; _"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; _**Major Frank Burns**_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; **_Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_**; _"Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly_; Nurse Kealani Kellye; Private Igor Straminsky; Corporal Max Klinger; _Colonel Sam Flagg_; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

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Major Burns stopped, one foot raised in the act of stepping out. His eyes narrowed and his mouth thinned, his lips becoming almost non-existent. That wasn't… it was! Colonel Flagg was leaving Colonel Blake's office, escorted by the company clerk and trailed by Captain Pierce. Frank's mind went into overdrive. Colonel Flagg worked for Intelligence. He was supposed to hunt down and dispose of enemies of the United States of America. If he was there…

Frank's eyes nearly popped, his mouth gaped, and his hands made grasping motions he was unaware of. '_There's an enemy at the 4077!_' The thought started as shock but quickly shifted to disgust. '_And I know just who it is, the filthy, traitorous pervert!_'

Burns determinedly headed for his Commanding Officer's tent. It was his duty as a true blue, patriotic American to report the traitor to those in authority. There was proof, too… enough that even that ineffectual lay-about Colonel Blake couldn't deny it.

Without knocking, or announcing as Radar was still out with Flagg, Frank walked directly into Henry's office. He'd inadvertently interrupted the man's private mail. "Colonel Blake, Sir, I have a matter of great importance to discuss with you, and I won't take no for an answer." He was ramrod stiff as he stood there.

Henry let out a sound between a growl and a sigh. Putting the pen down once more, he slowly raised his eyes and glared at the other surgeon. "Frank, this is a private office. You're supposed to knock before you barge in here demanding…"

"I'm sorry, Sir," Burns interrupted, not sounding in the least apologetic, just whiny and self-important, "but this is a matter of National Security. It can't wait, Sir." The last was said on a rather petulant note.

"Okay, I'll talk to Hawkeye about…"

"It isn't Captain Pierce, Sir!"

"MacIntyre?"

"No!" Burns was truly annoyed. '_Isn't that just like… when I **want** to report the others, he won't listen, but when I'm not here about them, it's all he wants to talk about. Oaf!_' "I'm here to report a Communist, Sir."

Henry stood so quickly he knocked over his chair and half the things on his desk, including a half-empty glass and opened bottle of gin. "Aw, shucks! Now look what you made me do, Frank…" The Colonel bent down to start trying to clean the gin off his letters, not wanting Lorraine to think that all he did was drink over here, no matter how accurate an assumption it might be.

Frank took on a very annoying whine. "Sir!" He circled around the desk and glared down at his bumbling leader. "A _Communist_ is in this camp, running around and contaminating everything and all you can do is play with your mail?" With a harrumph, the Major stepped back. "I knew I should have gone to Major Houlihan first!"

Looking up in exasperation, Henry snapped at his second-in-command, "Oh, will you shut up, Frank?" At Burns' indignant, mouth-dropping look, Blake continued. "Just because Colonel Flagg is here does _not_ mean that one of our patients is a spy. Now just relax and stop acting like a horse's pattoot!"

"Well, I… I…" Frank's mouth worked as he tried to come up with a snappy comeback. Finally he spat out "I'm talking about Standish!"

That did it. Henry stood almost as quickly as he could knock something over. He glared at the other man, anger emanating from every pore. That new doctor was a nice kid, and he was _not_ going to have Frank Burns, or anyone else, wrecking the boy's future just because of some imaginary slight. "Get out! Get out of this office… and stay away from Doctor Standish, Major! That's an order!"

Equally angry, Frank Burns didn't say a word. He turned on his heel in a rather impressive military about-face and marched his way directly towards Major Houlihan's tent, without stopping even to hunt up Colonel Flagg. Margaret would know how to approach this; she always did.

Continued in Chapter Eight: Tell ME When To Blink


	8. Tell Me When To Blink

Title: Tell Me When To Blink

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 8/ 17

Characters: _**Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy**_; _**Captain Emil Standish (guest star)**_; _**"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce**_; _**"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre**_; _Major Frank Burns_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; _Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_; _**"Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly**_; _**Nurse Kealani Kellye**_; _**Private Igor Straminsky**_; _**Corporal Max Klinger**_; _Colonel Sam Flagg_; _**Sergeant Zelmo Zale**_

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Radar walked into Post-Op, still clutching the envelope. Father Mulcahy was talking softly to an unconscious soldier in one corner near the far tent door; the patient had a bandaged head, but looked fairly healthy otherwise. At the next bed over stood Doctor Standish and Nurse Kealani Kellye, observing another unconscious patient. This one was bandaged across his chest and abdomen and had a glass I.V. bottle of blood hanging on a metal stand next to him, the I.V. tubing bright red with the continuous flow of life-giving plasma. Closer at hand, Trapper and Hawkeye were checking on a surgical patient they'd had a bit of trouble with earlier in the OR. Realizing that the doctors wouldn't appreciate being interrupted at the moment, Radar slipped back out to hunt down the two Majors instead; he passed Klinger who was on his way into the ward.

Dressed in a trim, very white, nurse's uniform and field nurse's cap, the dark-skinned Corpsman smiled as he carried in a tray of newly shipped bandaging. He went about his duties, the heels he wore clicking firmly across the ground. Dark eyes took in the quiet surrounds, the peaceful scene in a time of war. Max Klinger registered that not even the stranger at the other end of Post-Op noted his odd manner of dress. '_Great, this will never get me out of the Army if no one pays attention!_' He frowned darkly as he put the tray on a nearby supply prep table.

Finishing his prayer for Sergeant Mathius, Father Mulcahy started to turn towards the unconscious surgical patient, Private Travers, behind him. He stopped short when he saw that Mathius' eyes were open. "My Son?" He leaned over to check on the man's condition.

That was when all hell broke loose.

Proving just how accurate Radar's assumption about his health had been, the head-injured patient suddenly swung out of his bunk, ignoring the dizziness, and grabbed for the priest beside him. In the same swift motion, he drew his Ka-Bar from under his pillow.

At the feel of the blade against his stomach, Father Mulcahy froze, eyes widening. His lips started moving silently, trying to keep his body pliant. He didn't want to cause the soldier to do anything even rasher than threatening a priest for apparently no reason. Softly, Father Mulcahy asked, "How can I help you, My Son?"

Emil turned at the sound of the Father's surprisingly calm voice. The doctor had known the priest for a lifetime and could detect the nuances many would not have. He heard strain in the gentle tones, something that shouldn't have been there if the situation was normal.

Beside Doctor Standish, Nurse Kellye gasped.

Holding up a hand, not interrupting the priest's attempts at calming the man, Emil signaled the nurse to move away. For his part, he remained between Mathius and Travers on the next bed. The doctor kept his hands in plain sight so the patient wouldn't start panicking further.

Kellye's movements drew the eye of Hawkeye, who'd always thought she was cute. He slapped Trapper on the chest with the back of his hand and started moving towards the distant end of the tent, anxiously watching the scene play out before them. Just as worried and horrified by the attack on their gentle priest, Trapper stayed in close pursuit, though he spaced himself a bit from Hawkeye in order to make it easier to capture the man eventually… if he didn't run out the tent flap nearest him. Father continued to softly question Mathius, keeping as relaxed as he could in the circumstances.

For his part, the patient merely eyed the nurse as she backed around the bed and slightly away, out of harm's way. The soldier then turned his attention to the doctor simply standing there with hands out from his sides… a young teen by the looks of him. Mathius determined that Emil would be an easier hostage to deal with, most likely being young and scared, so suddenly pushed the priest away from him and grabbed the doctor, spinning the petite man around.

As the Ka-Bar dug into Emil's stomach, Father's unbalanced momentum sent him careening into the surgical patient's bed. He accidentally knocked over the I.V. stand, sending the glass bottle of blood shattering on the ground. Plasma splattered over both of the patients, the doctor, and the priest, even getting on Nurse Kellye at her greater distance. She ignored the blood and continued backing away from the scene. The two distant surgeons took advantage of the confusion to rush closer, but had to draw up short at the sight of Emil with a seven-inch blade at his waist.

"Damn!" Trapper looked over at Hawkeye, edging closer every second that passed. Turning his eyes back to the tableau nearby, the surgeon called out "Calm down, Mathius. Tell us what you need and we'll work on it, just let the boy go."

Hawkeye didn't care how corny his friend's words sounded, as long as they did the trick. He'd tease him later over a triple-martini, his treat. "Mathius, we need to get blood for that patient. Let us help him… you don't want him to die, do you?" He slid a step closer. "Klinger, A-Positive blood, now." He kept his voice reasonable and calm, despite the urgency… never taking his eyes from the far end of Post-Op.

While Sergeant Mathius kept his Ka-Bar pressed into the doctor's abdomen and his attention on the two approaching surgeons, Nurse Kellye took the opportunity to slip out, unnoticed. Klinger ran from the room, trying not to twist an ankle in those heels; at least by now he'd learned to run on the balls of his feet to spare the chance of injury or breakage. The scent of fresh blood filling his senses, Father Mulcahy was still leaning against the blood-soaked bed watching his childhood friend being threatened by a man who wasn't giving any reasons for his actions. In fact, Mathius never answered any of their queries.

The stalemate could have been broken when Kellye returned with Private Igor Straminsky and Sergeant Zelmo Zale, two enlisted men who were on guard duty that day, however the soldier with the Ka-Bar seemed aware that they were entering the door behind him. He spoke for the first time in a panicked growl. "Drop your weapons and back off. I swear I'll gut this kid!"

Hawkeye signaled the men to back off, though neither relinquished their guns. "What do you want? We can help you… you want out of the military? Back to the front lines? What?" Pierce had seen all kinds of reasons behind people going off the deep end; he just hoped it'd be something easily workable this time.

"I want…"

Emil softly spoke, interrupting the man's demands. "They might take you a bit more seriously if you were to hold the knife to my neck instead of my stomach. It's not much of a threat to a bunch of surgeons to eviscerate me; they can simply put everything back together."

Father Mulcahy's eyes widened in horror. "Emil, no…" He couldn't understand why his friend was telling this man how to hurt him more easily. It was as insane as the attack.

Mathius acted before anyone could rethink the situation. He kept hold of Doctor Standish's oversized uniform jacket. In one smooth motion, the patient moved the large survival blade towards his prisoner's throat.

At that moment, Emil seemed to pass out, sliding down to the floor and out of the patient's grasp.

It took a moment for everyone to realize that the doctor had purposefully slid out of his oversized jacket while the knife was being switched. In that instant of realization, Sergeant Zale lunged, tackling the soldier to the floor and knocking the knife away. It skittered to the priest's feet and he quickly retrieved the hateful object, holding it well out of danger's reach. A second later, everyone else leapt to action as well.

Igor raised his gun and pointed it at Mathius, as Hawkeye yelled for medical help. Trapper managed to leap over the bed in his way and get to the fallen soldier with the head injury, checking the wound as Zale held the struggling man down. Nurse Kellye rushed to Emil's side, as did Father Mulcahy, but the surgeon kept reassuring them that the patients were worse off than he was. Captain Pierce made it to the bed-ridden Travers, checking his condition since he'd gone so long without his blood transfusion. At that moment Klinger rushed back into the ward with the required blood, to Hawkeye's relief.

Continued in Chapter Nine: All Wet


	9. All Wet

Title: All Wet

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 9/ 17

Characters: _**Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy**_; _**Captain Emil Standish (guest star)**_; _"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_; _"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; _Major Frank Burns_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; _**Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake**_; _**"Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly**_; _Nurse Kealani Kellye_; _**Private Igor Straminsky**_; _**Corporal Max Klinger**_; _Colonel Sam Flagg_; _**Sergeant Zelmo Zale**_

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Colonel Blake and Corporal O'Reilly headed towards the shower tent, talking enthusiastically about fishing. Rather, Henry was discussing fishing on the next quiet day, and Radar was listening with half an ear, the other listening to see if there were any more loud calls from Post-Op. He'd heard one about fifteen minutes before; it had sounded like Hawkeye. Since the surgeon had called for medical once but hadn't screamed again, Radar had forgone telling Blake about it at all.

The Commanding Officer had still been struggling with his mail during whatever catastrophe had befallen the ward, trying to forget the annoying visit to his office that Frank Burns had paid him. After several more minutes, though, he'd thrown down his pen and called out to his clerk, "Radar, I'm going to get a shower to clear my head. It's about that time of week for you, too, so get your stuff together and join me." Radar had reluctantly obeyed.

Now, as the two walked, the younger man noticed an odd occurrence at the VIP tent. Igor was standing guard in the doorway with a gun. Zale's voice came from inside, telling someone that he shouldn't have attacked the doctor like that. Father Mulcahy then walked out of the tent, carrying a bag of clothing. Klinger followed Mulcahy out, accepting the gun from Igor and coming to attention as Henry passed.

For his part, Henry blinked, looking nearly shell-shocked once more. "What's going on, Klinger?"

Saluting, the Corporal in the nurse's dress loudly called out, "Patient Mathius attacked Father Mulcahy and Doctor Standish and is being held until transferred out, Sir." Then he flashed a smile for the Colonel. "Any chance _I'll_ get transferred out, Sir?"

"No." Henry looked towards the tent. Igor and Zale both saluted then hurried back to their guard duties. Normally when the regular staff was rotated to day guard, they didn't see that kind of action at all. Colonel Blake sighed and looked back at the Corpsman and the priest. He gave an absent smile, hoping not to have to worry about it for some time; he had enough on his plate with Colonel Flagg there. "Carry on."

"Yes, Sir." Klinger saluted once more, disappointed he wouldn't get the Section Eight he so desperately wanted. Once everyone was convinced he was crazy and let him out of the military, he could stop wearing dresses and heels and go about being as sane as he really was. He watched the pair head for the showers then turned to Father Mulcahy, "are you sure everything's all right, Father?"

"What?" Father Mulcahy looked up. He'd been lost in thought about what had been and might have been. It was odd. While he had been the prisoner, there had been no fear. A calm assurance that he was protected by the Lord had settled over him. But when Emil had been grabbed, fear overruled faith and he had been frantic to help his friend, though impotent to do so. He was relieved that Emil had seemed unharmed and had merely gone to the showers to wash off the blood. "Oh, yes. I'm fine, Klinger. I'll just bring Emil's things to my tent until we can sort this out. Be careful."

Klinger nodded. "Always. I want to get home, but in one piece, Father." He grinned and saluted the priest who merely smiled and strode off, bag in hand.

Upon entering the shower tent, Radar and Henry stopped talking about fishing and moved to strip. Someone else was there ahead of them leaning against a stall wall while water ran unheeded across the floor. Radar frowned, noting the red-hair, blood-soaked clothing, too pale skin, closed eyes… it was Emil, and the doctor looked sick. "Sir," Radar kept his voice low, tugging on Henry's arm. After getting the Colonel's attention, he pointed towards Doctor Standish in the far stall.

Something about the way the redhead looked sent the doctoring instincts soaring through Henry, and he leapt into action. Rushing forward, uncaring about his half-fastened uniform and still-tied boots, Blake managed to catch the petite figure just as it slipped into a half-faint. He noticed that blood was liberally mixing with the running water on the floor.

Emil opened pain-filled eyes, arm wrapped over a nasty slash across her abdomen.

'_Her?_' Stunned, Henry realized that the body he held was indeed of a very petite, very injured, woman. "Holy Toledo! Radar, get me a medical bag! Stat!" He wriggled out of his undershirt as he held together the doctor's flesh with his other hand.

"Yes, Sir!" Radar grabbed his own shirt, pulling it own as he ran towards the Post-Op tent.

Continued in Chapter Ten: Retrieval


	10. Retrieval

Title: Retrieval

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 10/ 17

Characters: _Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy_; _Captain Emil Standish (guest star)_; _**"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce**_; _**"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre**_; _Major Frank Burns_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; _Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_; _**"Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly**_; _**Nurse Kealani Kellye**_; _Private Igor Straminsky_; _Corporal Max Klinger_; _Colonel Sam Flagg_; _Sergeant Zelmo Zale_

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Bursting through the doorway of the medical tent, Radar caused the staff and patients alike to jump. Everyone was still on edge from the attack on Father Mulcahy and Doctor Standish. In pure reaction, Trapper snapped loudly, "Don't do that, Radar!" as Hawkeye frowned and moved away from the bedside of his surgical patient.

"It better not be Mathius again," was the comment of the annoyed brunet.

Shaking his head, Radar reached for the medical bag Hawkeye had left by the door when he'd rushed to care for the bedridden patient. "Colonel Blake needs help, Sir!"

"What?" Trapper stepped forward, suddenly anxious for his friend.

Hawkeye hurried over and, in a grim voice, said, "Trap, hold down the fort; I'll be right back. Where is he, Radar?"

Trapper nodded in acknowledgement, moving to check on the blood flow to the other surgeon's patient, but still keeping half his mind on the newest problem to seemingly arise.

Radar backed out of the tent. "In the shower, Sir." The Corporal led the Captain out without further explanation, too distraught over Emil's situation to reassure Hawkeye that Colonel Blake wasn't the casualty.

Continued in Chapter Eleven: Secret Operations


	11. Secret Operations

Title: Secret Operations

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 11/ 17

Characters: _**Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy**_; _**Captain Emil Standish (new)**_; _**"Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce**_; _"Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; _Major Frank Burns_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; _**Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake**_; _**"Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly**_; _Nurse Kealani Kellye_; _Private Igor Straminsky_; _Corporal Max Klinger_; _Colonel Sam Flagg_; _Sergeant Zelmo Zale_

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Henry may have been an absent-minded alcoholic adulterer, but he was a fine surgeon. He didn't panic easily when faced with a medical problem. Instincts, good training, and a whole lot of doctor's wisdom served him well.

At the moment, the Base Commander held his wet undershirt pressed to the other doctor's abdomen. He was sliding off his cotton belt with his free hand, letting the half-conscious woman lean against his chest as he worked without much real equipment to aid him. Managing to free the belt, Henry maneuvered it around his patient's waist and started tightening it around the makeshift bandaging, trying to work around the slashed shirt she still wore.

He heard the door open and relief washed over him as Hawkeye's voice called out, "Henry?"

"In here, Pierce." Henry shifted on the hard shower stall floor, his wet clothes heavy and cold. "I need a bag."

"Got it," the sound of the stall opening reassured the older man that soon the patient would have all the care she could wish for.

Hawkeye was surprised at the circumstances he found: Henry kneeling on the floor with a very wet Emil in his arms, the wet clothing clinging to her petite frame and leaving no doubt about her gender. Without pause, however, he knelt down by the other surgeon. "Radar, I think we're wet enough now; you can turn off the water. Does Nurse Allen know you're moonlighting as a fish, Henry?" He pulled out his stethoscope and started listening to the patient's heart. "Strong, good…" With a charming smile for the woman, he quipped, "A beat we could dance to, Doctor."

She didn't respond, eyes closed.

Moving the makeshift field dressing, Captain Pierce noted that the edges of the wound were clean, neat, the sign of a sharp blade. He tried to get a response from Doctor Standish. "So, Emil, you sure you don't want to move into the Swamp? You could share my bunk."

Colonel Blake frowned at Hawkeye, reaching over to pull some silk and a suturing needle out of the bag. "Radar…" He let Hawkeye slice the tattered shirt off their patient.

"Yes, Sir?" the Corporal had his head turned, face and ears bright red. He was trying to avoid seeing the wounded doctor lying half-naked against the Colonel's bare chest.

Henry seemed unaware of Radar's discomfort. He was in his element, and as such was in total control. "I need flame; sterilize these. Hurry!" The man handed the equipment over then looked at Pierce. "What happened to him… uh… her?"

The younger doctor sighed as he handed up some matches to Radar. "Mathius stabbed… her in the abdomen. He's being held in the VIP tent. That's fine, Radar, hand it over." Hawkeye was preparing the bandages and other required surgical supplies. Fortunately, Doctor Standish didn't have too serious a belly wound. She'd recover fully with a few weeks rest. But first, they had to sew her up… then find out just why she and Father Mulcahy had been keeping such a secret. Hawkeye Pierce hoped to God this had nothing to do with Colonel Flagg's unwelcome visit.

Radar peeked as he handed back the materials, groaning, "Oh, Sirs!" He turned hastily, a bit greener than before.

Hawkeye shook his head, but continued assisting Henry as the older surgeon started to maneuver the patient onto the floor. "Radar, how do you match your clothes so well?"

Ignoring his clerk's soft groan, Henry snapped out, "Needle, Pierce." He checked Emil's reaction, noted that she seemed unresponsive, then took a breath. "Radar, get over here and hold her still. This'll hurt."

"Can't you give her something, Sir?" Radar was normally a pretty easy-going lad, but when it came to exposure to wounded, he turned into a rather squeamish young man.

"No, now hold her, Corporal!" Henry started stitching. As predicted, Doctor Standish reacted badly to being operated on without anesthesia. She tried to curl up defensively over the wound, only to meet resistance in the strong, no matter how unwilling, grip of Radar O'Reilly. Hawkeye liberally cleaned the wound without needing much prompting. About thirty-nine stitches later, Emil had passed out and all three blood-covered rescuers were packing up, preparing to move her from the men's showers.

Radar suddenly called out "Uh, oh!"

"What is it, Radar?" Pierce frowned. His question, however, was answered by the shower door opening.

"Hello?" Father Mulcahy's voice had the threesome relaxing once more. After all, he should already know Emil's secret, being a childhood friend of hers.

"In here, Father." Hawkeye continued to retrieve the used supplies.

The stall door opened hesitantly, but there was no hesitation when Father Mulcahy knelt in the bloody water on the shower stall floor. "I thought she had been hurt." Those words certainly confirmed that the priest had known Emil's secret. His soft voice held intense worry as he asked, "How serious is it?"

Henry didn't bother to look up, nodding instead to Radar. "All right, Radar. Let's get her to Post-Op."

"No." Everyone turned stunned looks on the gentle priest, who hurried on to try to explain. "If you bring her there, everyone will know… and they cannot." There was torment in his eyes, fighting to keep his word yet having to weigh the costs to his friend's health and the amount of information that could be readily provided her rescuers. "It's…"

Radar interrupted, "She can't go in the V.I.P. tent, Sirs… Sergeant Mathius is there."

Before Hawkeye could even attempt to offer, Blake merely sighed heavily and added, "And Colonel Flagg went to the Swamp."

Hawkeye grinned, "I don't mind sending him to the V.I.P. tent, Henry."

The Colonel looked extremely tempted by the idea and Radar seemed unable to decide if Hawkeye was being serious or not. Finally, Henry let that choice idea go with a regretful shake of his head. "No. She can't go to the Swamp. She needs to rest."

"How about Major Houlihan's tent, Sirs?" Radar collected the medical waste from Hawkeye, standing up. Everyone followed suit, the Father taking off his jacket to wrap over the injured doctor before picking her up himself.

"She can stay in my tent for now." Once more everyone stared at the Father in shock. He blinked back from behind his glasses then shook his head and said, repressively, "I assure you she will be quite safe there."

Henry and Radar turned away slightly embarrassed at their own assumptions, as Hawkeye let out a peal of laughter. "That should be the safest place in the war for her, Father." He took charge, instinctively as Henry seemed reluctant to do so on the best of days. "Okay, nobody says a word about what's happened until we can get her side of the story. Father, keep her resting if possible… she's got a few stitches and shouldn't go pulling them out."

The priest nodded as he slipped quietly from the shower tent, the other three following at a slower pace and splitting up once outside. Blake paused as Hawkeye headed back to Post-Op then seemed to suddenly realize why he'd gone to the showers in the first place. He turned to head back in calling, "Come on, Radar. Now you really do need a shower."

Continued in Chapter Twelve: It's Me Again, Margaret


	12. It's Me Again, Margaret

Title: It's Me Again, Margaret

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 12/ 17

Characters: _Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy_; _Captain Emil Standish (new)_; "_Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_; "_Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; **_Major Frank Burns_**; **_Major Margaret Houlihan_**; _Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_; "_Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly_; _Nurse Kealani Kellye_; _Private Igor Straminsky_; **_Corporal Max Klinger_**; **_Colonel Sam Flagg_**; _Sergeant Zelmo Zale_

Note: Having only seen Colonel Flagg a few times, I am not so sure I played him to the best of his ability. Therefore, I apologize in advance if he is not quite spot-on. Thank you.

Second Note: If you wonder why I have Father Mulcahy's point of view still referring to Emil as a male in earlier chapters, it was so I wouldn't spoil the surprise. Father has always known Emil is a female. Hope this clears up a bit.

Feedback: Please? I love comments: ----- ----- -----

Humming softly to herself, brushing out her shoulder-length hair, Major Margaret Houlihan was having an absolutely beautiful day. The nursing staff was running smoothly, no reported problems so far that day. Doctors Pierce and MacIntyre had apparently been too busy on duty to bother the ladies, so Hot Lips, as she was not-so-affectionately known, hadn't needed to intervene or write them up. And above all, that young Doctor Standish hadn't even looked twice at the nurses… no flirting, no groping, nor any other annoying behavior. Now if she could figure out a way to get him reassigned from the front, they could have a second real Army Doctor in the 4077th, Major Burns being the other one in her estimation.

A rattling at her door interrupted the Head Nurse's musings. With a happy chirrup Margaret called out in a rather sing-song trill, "Who is it?"

"It's me."

"Me who?" she smiled at the word game she always played with Frank Burns.

"_Me_ me." Frank's voice sounded worried and desperate. Naturally, he was often worried or desperate, sometimes even both. But this time, instead of waiting for her to call out, he opened the door and slipped inside.

Margaret's mouth dropped open and she whirled around in shock. "Frank! You can't just barge in here! What if I wasn't dressed?"

"That hardly matters, does it?"

"What! How…" Margaret was incensed that he would even think that she was that easy, "how _dare_ you! Get out!" She stood and lifted her brush to toss it at him.

Frank ducked before it could leave her hand, instincts honed to a fine edge from years of being a walking punching bag. "Margaret! This is important!" The Major glanced up. His attempt at explanation merely got him a brush in the face, however. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You know what that was for, _Major Burns_! Get out!" She grabbed another item from her dressing table without registering what it was. "How dare you think you can just waltz in here as if I'd welcome you with open arms… I'm not that easy you… you… philanderer!"

"I would never, Margaret!" Frank ducked the next object, and the next. "It's Standish!"

The name sunk in but only made her angrier. "You dare accuse that sweet boy of…"

Needing to think on his feet or risk another brush in the face, the Major hit the ground and covered his head, screaming the only thing he could think of, "Colonel Flagg!"

She stopped, arm raised above her head. "Start talking, Frank. And you better have a very good story." She kept her hand ready, waiting for she-knew-not-what.

From his crouched position, Frank glanced up and whimpered out, "Colonel Flagg is here looking for a spy."

Down the hand went, slowly. "A spy?" Margaret watched Frank in hesitant interest. "All right, Frank. I'm listening. Why does he think there's a spy here… and what does this have to do with Doctor Standish?"

Frank glanced up again, then relaxed when he saw the danger was passed. With his traditional sick grin, he pushed himself from the ground and slid over to the nurse. "He was talking with Colonel Blake and Captain Pierce…"

"Standish?"

"Huh? No… Flagg!" He started dusting himself off, not looking at the woman. "He's looking for a dirty Commie." He glanced up, hands still running over his chest and pelvis. Turning his eyes back to his work, he was thrilled when a pair of soft, feminine hands joined his own in cleaning him off. "Uh… and… well," he giggled a bit. "Captain Standish is a bit off, don't you think?"

Her hands stopped. "That nice boy? Oh, Frank…" She frowned at him.

Major Burns nodded and whined, "Yes, Margaret, I caught him. He's odd. I know it's hard to believe, but…" with a triumphant grin he exclaimed, "He's awfully young for a Captain, isn't he?"

"Frank, really…"

"Margaret, He can't be any older than nineteen. No one is a Captain that young… even if he _did_ save a General's life."

Major Houlihan was stunned. "Saved a General's life? Oh… how can anyone like that be a spy?"

"I know. I could hardly believe it myself, Margaret." He moved towards the tent door, looking through it as if suspecting they were being eavesdropped on. Finding no one listening in, he turned back to his companion. "I heard him telling Father Mulcahy about it. And…" he looked around quickly and leaned closer, "Father asked him what _his kind_ of…" Frank nearly choked on the word, as if it were painful to associate it with the young doctor, "_man_ is doing in the Army."

"His kind of man? But…" she was a bit shell-shocked… "the Father knows?"

"Yes, I heard him say so! Standish is a Communist and… and…" he leaned in even closer, "one of _those_."

She gasped, a hand going to the front of her shirt, pulling it even further closed than the buttons had been holding it. "Frank, we need to do something... now."

"Of course we do, but I already told Colonel Blake. He's useless, as always." Frank's eyes trailed down to Margaret's fingers and a small smile played around his thin lips. His mind wanted very much to wander in that direction. "He ordered me to stay away from that pervert!"

Margaret started putting her hair up, hands moving quickly and smoothly. "Then we'll do what you should have done in the first place, Frank. We'll go to Colonel Flagg. He's looking for the spy, and we've found him." She straightened her uniform and nodded. "Let's go."

Frank followed the other Major from the tent, smiling as he watched her hips sway. He let her rhythm soothe his injured feelings. Margaret always made everything all right. He'd love to take her home with him after the war; having Margaret around would make living with Louise a heck of a lot easier. When Margaret stopped short, Frank nearly ran her over, so engrossed in her figure was he. "What…"

Klinger raised his rifle and stood in front of the VIP tent, feet spread, prepared for anything. "Halt! No one is allowed beyond this point without proper authorization."

"What are you talking about?" Major Houlihan's voice was hard as steel, years of Army life backing her up.

"No one's allowed to see the prisoner without proper authorization, Major." He didn't let down his guard.

"Oh… shoot! They already know!" Frank whined, seeing an imagined commendation for catching the spy go up in smoke.

The Corporal shook his head in apparent wonder. "How could we not? When he attacked Father Mulcahy and…"

"I knew it!" Frank interrupted. "I knew the Father shouldn't have trusted that man! His sort can't be trusted." Then, he seemed to realize he was talking about this with a man in a dress and heels. With a frown, Major Burns stiffened and asked, "Why are _you_ the guard? I thought Sergeant Zale and Private Straminsky had guard duty today."

"They do. That's why I'm guarding the prisoner." Klinger smiled at the pair. "Dangerous as this man might be, I am not afraid to stand the duty, Sir. Crazy, huh? Maybe crazy enough for that Section Eight?"

Margaret glared at the enlisted man. "Don't count on it, Corporal. Where's Colonel Flagg right now?"

"Margaret, he's going to aid and abet the prisoner. They're of the same type!" The annoying whine didn't go unnoticed by a passing soldier.

In fact, the man passing by, dressed in the uniform of a Captain, complete with a medical caduceus emblem, was Colonel Sam Flagg, himself. He looked conspicuous, mainly because he looked so cagey. Apparently, the Intelligence Agent was trying to appear non-significant while still checking out the entire compound like an inept shoplifter on a heist.

Flagg gave Burns and Houlihan and intense look shifted his eyes towards the back of the Latrine then started off in the exact opposite direction. He walked directly over to the Mess Tent, glanced around, then slipped inside. He was more obvious than he realized, as several people who had been passing by where stopped and staring at the door of the tent in confusion or amazement.

"Come along, Frank." Margaret tugged her companion's sleeve discreetly and turned back to Klinger, who watched bemusedly. "We'll discuss this later, Corporal." Her frown made him smile and salute enthusiastically.

"Yes, Sir, Ma'am!"

With that, as people headed back along their own affairs, Margaret and Frank headed into the Mess Tent, finding Sam Flagg sitting by himself in a not-so-shadowy corner. Major Houlihan whispered to her companion, "Get us some coffee, Frank, or we'll look conspicuous." She headed over to the good-looking, though more-than-a-bit loony Colonel.

Loudly, she greeted him, "Good afternoon, Captain." At his narrowed gaze, she sat down.

The poorly disguised Colonel leaned forward. "Can I trust you, Major?"

"Always… Captain."

"You trusted us before, Sir, why wouldn't you now?" Burns slipped two mugs on the table and frowned down at the Intelligence Officer.

Flagg glared up at Burns and slowly spoke, as if weighing every word; "People change. When I first came here, you rightly refused to operate on a CID man without another present. Good work, Soldier. Next time, you were proven to be a Communistic Fascist with a triple life. Then, you helped me…"

"Uh, we get the picture, Sir." Frank was confused, flustered, and nervous. He sat down, toying with his mug, trying to see if they were being watched without trying to look too obvious. He was doing poorly, but as only the three of them were in the tent, it didn't matter.

Suddenly, Flagg stood, almost as if he couldn't be still for too long. "Let me level with you two." He whirled on them so fast Margaret gasped. Frank nearly wet himself, eyes bugging. "I'm not here on a social visit." Flagg fell silent.

A very long moment passed before Margaret elbowed Frank who gulped out. "Yes, Sir. There's a spy in camp."

The impressively built Colonel was around the table before the Major could finish his complaint. "Who said anything about a spy? What makes you think I'm here for anything more than a social visit?"

Frank Burns' mouth gaped open and he nearly choked. "But, Sir, you said…"

"Never mind what I said. You can't trust every rumor you hear, man. Now, tell me everything. I want to know every last detail. And if you leave anything out, I'll know it." Sam Flagg slid onto the bench next to the Major, leaning so close he was making the already paranoid man even more nervous. Frank could only whimper, eyes locked with Flagg's, like a deer in the headlights.

Margaret smoothly came to his rescue, as always. "Major Burns overheard the alleged operative discussing his mission with someone in camp. Doing the correct thing, Major Burns then reported it to Colonel Blake, but was rebuffed. We were on our way to report it to you, knowing how vital this information could be to the defense of American interests." She smiled.

The Intelligence Officer jumped up and circled around to the woman's side, leaning over with one hand on the table. He was so close, Margaret's pulse raced, reminding her just why people called her Hotlips. "And who was this spy talking to?"

"He was talk…"

"Oh, I don't think that's critical. After all…"

Flagg stood. "If you cover up the identity of the subversive's accomplice, you'll be aiding and albeiting. Uncle Sam doesn't look kindly on aiders and albeiters, Major and Major." He slid his glance over either in turn. "Spill. Give me the name, or you'll find…"

"Father Mulcahy." Frank didn't even want to hear what his punishment might be. "It was Father Mulcahy… the camp Chaplain. He was hearing confession and Doctor Standish told him. I was inspecting the tent for any repairs that might be needed," when necessary, the man could think faster than a weasel, though not always as well as he imagined, "and heard him say it."

"Who is this Doctor Standish?" Flagg pulled out his notebook and pen, slipping onto the seat next to Margaret and leaning forward. "Don't leave out a single detail. I want everything." Jumping to his feet in another unexpected maneuver, Flagg called out, "Better yet, I'll requisition his file. I look through it tonight, then ask for access tomorrow. We'll see how many people are in on this little Communist plot."

"It's worse, Colonel."

"Captain."

"Huh?" Frank frowned, puzzled out of his train of thought.

"It's Captain. Do you see a Colonel's rank on this uniform? No. I'm Captain Myers, Proctologist."

Margaret was suddenly tempted to make an off-hand and colorful remark, much like Hawkeye or Trapper might, but refrained. After all, she was a professional. Instead, she cut in, "There's a high possibility that the doctor may also be a sexual deviant, Captain Myers."

"He said so." Major Burns had relocated his train of thought.

Sam flipped his notebook closed with a dramatic wave of the hand. "I see." He stood and tucked away the small book. With one last glance at his cohorts, the man ground out, "And he probably isn't a real doctor, either. Let's go. There's a lot of work we need to do, and I have to make a phone call… I'll need the latrine."

Neither Major dared ask what the latrine had to do with phone calls, or even if it did. Both were too familiar with the very off-color officer by now. Rather, they allowed him to leave the tent, then slowly followed five minutes later, discussing the patients in Post-Op and Frank's high expectations for a full recovery for his patient, Sergeant Mathius.

Neither was aware that it was Sergeant Mathius, not Captain Standish, being held prisoner in the VIP tent.

Continued in Chapter Thirteen: Nighttime Romps


	13. Nighttime Romps

Title: Nighttime Romps

Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little G.I. 13/ 17

Characters: Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy; Captain Emil Standish (new); "_Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_; "_Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; _Major Frank Burns_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; _Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_; "_Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly_; Nurse Kealani Kellye; Private Igor Straminsky; Corporal Max Klinger; _Colonel Sam Flagg_; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

Note: Thank you all for your patience, as health, work, and school have been eating into my time. Now I'm free for a few weeks, so let's see what I can get updated.

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Things had settled for the night, for the most part. People were tucked up in their sleeping bags, or in each other's sleeping bags. The sounds of snores and night insects mingled on the warm night air under a star-filled sky. Post Op was also quiet, the patients having settled in for a much-needed rest. Only the assigned security personnel were on their rounds, one at either end of the camp and a third in front of the VIP tent.

A single flashlight broke the monotony. All three guards noted it, but as the light had originated at the Swamp, no one thought anything much of it. After all, Trapper and Hawkeye were well known for their midnight excursions. The main point of interest was which tent the man would try to sneak into… and which nurse he would have with him.

When the light stopped in front of the tent housing Radar and all of the files it went out, much to the surprise of all three men on duty.

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After switching off his light, Colonel Flagg, dressed all in black complete with stocking watch cap and face paint, eased open the door to the Administration Tent. He knew the young Corporal slept in there, so was extra careful not to make any sudden noises, deftly walking around the sleeping stray dog adopted in general by the entire camp. Slipping almost silently, except for a small sneeze by the dog as the Colonel passed, causing him to freeze in a rather uncomfortable foot-raised-arm-extended position for all of a minute, Flagg made it into the sleeping area of Radar O'Reilly, Company Clerk.

Briefly shining his flashlight over the Corporal, he noted with disgust the teddy bear clutched firmly in the young man's arms, the youth's mouth open slightly as he lightly snored. Satisfied, Flagg transferred his light to the filing cabinets then shot it quickly back over the sleeping clerk. Radar hadn't moved, though he snorted slightly as if in reaction. Flagg switched off his light. He froze at a particularly loud snort from Radar, but continued on his way, satisfied that the young man was happily dreaming of Mom's apple pie and baseball.

Feeling with his hands, finding it much harder to tell what things were through the gloves he was sporting, Flagg none-the-less managed to locate the button that triggered the filing cabinet and flick it awkwardly. The drawer squealed in protest as it opened, and Flagg winced, whirling around and shining his light once more on the Corporal in the bunk.

For his part, Radar snored on, shifting a little then feeling around unconsciously as his teddy bear slid out of reach. He seemed on the verge of waking up so Sam Flagg hurried over and returned the bear to its proper spot, right next to Radar's heart. The Corporal wrapped his arms possessively around his bear, smiled in his sleep, and sighed softly. Flagg rolled his eyes then hurried back to start looking through the files, pulling out a miniature camera in readiness to photograph the results.

With a frown, Flagg noted that there was no personnel file on Emil Standish, Doctor. He quickly pulled open the other drawers, checking through those, unaware that they made no noise as he moved them, unlike that first drawer. The rest of the cabinet had been well oiled. The only things he found in all of the other drawers were requisition files and blank personnel forms. He also found a week-old brownie from the mess tents wedged behind the files of the third drawer down, apparently being used to keep the files upright in place of a missing bit of metal.

Colonel Flagg was disgusted and slid the last drawer shut. Flashing the light over Radar once more, noting the still sleeping innocence of the young man, he headed into the office next door, intent on checking Colonel Blake's desk. He was gone a long time before re-emerging in disgust.

Almost carelessly, the Colonel slipped out of the door to the Administration Tent. He didn't notice Radar open his eyes and frown, sitting up in his bunk, perfectly awake… as he had been for the entire incident. Also not seeing the obstacle in his distress, Flagg tripped over the camp mutt, falling rather noisily into the local trashcan and creating a ruckus louder then gunfire in the sleeping camp. Lights went on, people scurried out of bed, voices rose in protest and query, and Flagg lay in the garbage trying to push the dog off his now very dirty, paint-smeared face.

A flashlight in his face stopped the Intelligence Officer in his futile struggles.

He glanced up, noting untied boots, followed by bare legs, then the beginnings of a bright yellow dressing robe, all the way up until Flagg's eyes fell on the amused face of Trapper John. The doctor was quickly joined by Hawkeye, Henry, and, coming from inside the Administration Tent, Radar. Others were running over, the three members of the night watch hurrying to correct their assumptions that the sneak was one of their own, well-loved surgeons out for a midnight tryst.

"What in Blue Blazes are you doing out here?" Blake couldn't help the angry tones, despite his normal wariness of the other Colonel. He'd just been interrupted in a very important meeting, and he knew Nurse Allen was slipping away right then. His date was ruined, and he was upset.

Pushing to his feet, Flagg used his legendary quick wits to talk himself out of the situation, mainly by going on the offensive. "What is that dog doing here? Are you authorized a dog in this unit, Colonel?"

Blake blinked in temporary confusion. He looked down at the dog, then back at Colonel Flagg, before finally answering, in a rather annoyed tone, "He's a local stray we let hang around."

"Indigenous Personnel, huh?" Flagg whipped out his ever-present notebook, just as Houlihan and Burns came to a halt nearby. He flipped open the notebook, ignoring the greasy smudges over the carefully coded notes, and started scribbling. "You are aware that as an indigenous personage that dog is a Communist? You are willfully letting a Communist pass through your camp, among your staff, and gain free, unchecked access to all tents… including the Administration Tent?" He was busy writing and thus missed the incredulous look that crossed Henry Blake's face.

Hawkeye barked out a deep laugh, Frank's quick, "By golly, that's right! He is a Communist dog!" merely causing the guffaws to become much louder.

Henry shot a glare at his second-in-command.

Encouraged by Burns' support, Flagg nodded and scribbled some more, trying to get the stupid pencil to write through the grease smudges. "Are you aware that an unauthorized Communist loose on the base is against regulations? That dog was sent here to spy on me! I'll have to take him in for questioning."

"You speak dog, Colonel?" Trapper couldn't resist the innocent sounding question, but wound up losing his composure at Flagg's shrewd, "We have our ways, Mister!"

Finally, Blake threw his hands in the air. "Colonel, leave the dog alone."

He was interrupted by Hawkeye, who amusedly added, "Yeah, Frank's just a dumb animal, Colonel."

Burns sputtered in protest.

Without missing a beat, Henry spoke over the other doctors, "and get back to bed, everyone. Colonel, I want to see you in my office." The pair walked past Radar and into the building, the young Corporal turning to follow them inside.

Hawkeye saw the way Burns was trying to sidle into the office, as well. Suddenly worried that Blake was angry enough to start talking about Emil, the brunet lightly hit his blond companion's arm, drawing Trapper's attention from a nearby nurse. "I'm going to help Henry with this." Trapper shot him a surprised look, but Hawkeye ignored him, slipping into the building behind the other officers.

Inside the room, the group moved quickly into Blake's office, Burns glaring at Hawkeye as the other surgeon caught up to them. Radar busied himself at the radio, but his movements were almost absent-minded; he was intent on listening to the conversation in the next room. Once inside, Burns set himself firmly on the side of Flagg, while Hawkeye deceptively lounged near Blake. The two Colonels faced each other across Henry's desk, hostility and anger crackling through the air.

The silence was broken by the Base Commander.

"Stop sneaking around at night." It was short and very definite; Henry wasn't mincing any words. "You may gather all the evidence you want during the day, but you will stop doing it at night. I can't have my staff continually disturbed; they need rest, and by golly, so do I!" The words may have been mild, but the tone definitely wasn't. Colonel Flagg had pushed the easy-going doctor too far.

Flagg decided on a different tack than the one he had been about to take. Apparently, getting accusatory about the dog had been a slip up. He wouldn't make that mistake again… leave the dog out of it. Also, arguing about his night maneuvers would be a bad idea, as well. Since he hadn't found anything, he could afford to let it go… for now. Instead, he would get straight to the point.

"Let me get straight to the point, then, Colonel." Flagg fell silent, watching the other man intently as the tension built. He waited... and waited... and waited some more, not making a sound as he stared the Colonel in the eyes.

Blake slammed his hands on the desk, making everyone except Flagg jump and breaking the silent tension. "Well? Get to it, then!"

"Riiight." Flagg drew the word out, as if he were in a western film. With a sudden, decisive nod, he went on. "I want to know about Standish."

"Standish?" Blake was confused, the seeming change of subject throwing him off stride and dissipating the unusual anger in him.

Hawkeye frowned, opening his mouth but getting interrupted by Flagg.

"That's right. Standish. We have reason to believe he's a Communist spy masquerading as a doctor here. You've got him; we want him." Flagg leaned forward, his movements studied, slow, measured. If he'd been a model, he would have been posing; as it was, his movements were calculated to put Colonel Blake at ease.

They did no such thing. Instead, the Colonel sputtered indignantly as Hawkeye jumped in with, "Aw, come on now, Colonel! You see spies in your Rice Krispies!"

Flagg turned his head to study the Captain and drawled out, "I don't eat Rice Krispies, Captain. They talk behind my back."

His face was totally devoid of any amusement. Hawkeye's mouth dropped open, and he had to fight to close it. The man was so serious it wasn't amusing in the least. The doctor again opened his mouth for another comment and was interrupted once more.

"Sirs!" Radar pushed open the door, the receiver of the portable phone to his ear as he frantically called out, "Casualties, sir! There's heavy fighting, surprise ambush. The choppers…" the compound was suddenly inundated with the roar of helicopter motors, effectively supporting Radar's claims of casualties.

Blake paled but nodded. "Everyone scrub up. We've got wounded." He shot Flagg a look, but walked out without comment, ignoring the other man in favor of the profession he loved.

"But, it's my bed time, Colonel," Burns whined as he followed the Colonel, especially annoyed that he was being ignored.

"I don't see why you're complaining, Frank. You're always asleep on the job anyway."

"Am not!" Burns glared behind him at Hawkeye.

With a malicious grin, Captain Pierce jogged off to warn Trapper that they needed him. The loud speaker announced the incoming wounded, and the other surgeon met Hawkeye directly outside of the Swamp, grumbling in surprise at the lack of sleep. Joining into the routine of complaining about conditions in the war, Hawkeye accompanied his friend into the prep area, nurses hurrying in as well. Trapper grumbled that Burns better not be the one on Triage.

"No, I'm going. You two scrub up." Blake turned right back around and headed outside to prevent Frank from taking over that critical job.

Continued in Chapter 14: --- when written ---


	14. Inundation

Title: Inundation Author: Sam Series: I Spy With My Little GI: 14 / 17

Characters: _Colonel Sam Flagg_; "_Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly_; _Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake_; "_Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce_; _Major Frank Burns_; _Captain Emil Standish (new)_; "_Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre_; _Major Margaret Houlihan_; _Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy_; _Nurse Kealani Kellye_; _Corporal Max Klinger_; Private Igor Straminsky; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

Note: Yes, short, but a necessary interlude. Thank you with your continued patience, school, health, and now my father's death have made writing all but impossible.

Feedback: Please? I love comments.

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It quickly became apparent that there were more patients than staff, as was normally the case. At least two hours of straight triage and surgery passed with intense concentration and the occasional quip. Father Mulcahy, Radar, and Klinger were rushing around trying to help as best they could, not that anyone was able to be spared from duty with the patients. All except Colonel Flagg, that is.

Flagg was pretty much ignored since he'd cleverly donned a surgical mask. He'd done it as part of a disguise, but it hadn't fooled anyone; however, since he'd been staying out of the way and was properly gowned and masked, nobody bothered to throw him out of the O.R. Thus, Flagg was slinking around the O.R., intently watching all of the various, and at times gory, activity.

It was as the third hour began that Hawkeye became aware that there was a fifth person operating in the room. With only four staff surgeons, that didn't add up. Quickly, he scanned the room, looking for the Intelligence Officer. If that man had gone so far in his disguise as to actually start cutting someone... but, no, Colonel Flagg was standing off to the side, handing nurses sponges as asked. It was odd to see the man actually helping, rather than hindering, but Hawkeye wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth... or a gift loon, as it were.

Taking a long moment to study the mysterious fifth surgeon, wondering if perhaps a nurse had gotten the gumption to attempt surgery untrained, Hawkeye took in the small stature and the slow movements. The mystery person was also leaning one hip against the table, something no surgeon in his right mind would do as one injudicious move could contaminate the surgical area. As Hawkeye watched, the small surgeon finished closing with a particular twist. Dawning realization came over the Head Surgeon.

Leaning over to Margaret Houlihan, who was by far the best nurse they had... she was Head Nurse, after all... Pierce whispered, "Hey, Margaret, go help Doctor Standish. He's injured." He indicated the smallest surgeon with a flick of his head.

Surprised, Margaret glanced over and noticed with disapproval how the petite figure leaned against the table, moving slowly. She frowned behind her mask. True, every move Doctor Standish made was appropriate, just too slow for their surgery. She turned back to Hawkeye. "Of course, Doc..." but she was not to go in aid of the doctor with the belly injury. Hawkeye's patient suddenly jerked, despite the anesthesia, and it was all she could do to help with putting him back under, threatening the nurse in charge of anesthesia with being written up after the patients were all helped.

Hawkeye, too, got lost in his work once more, almost forgetting the injured visiting surgeon as he worked to save lives in less than adequate conditions. Emil Standish was left to work with the more than able assistance of Nurse Kelleye and Corporal Klinger. It actually seemed a beneficial setup, as Emil was only taking the less serious yet still necessary surgeries, knowing she was too injured, and too slow with the pain medicine, to do anything drastic.

Kelleye was quiet as she helped Emil, efficient and helpful with suggestions and encouragement. Klinger, for his part, didn't even need to be asked to jump forward and wipe Emil's sweaty forehead or give her a sip of water. Neither knew the doctor had been hurt in that attack of Mathius', but somehow they both recognized that the doctor wasn't in peak condition... perhaps it was how slow those brilliant hands moved.

The hours continued to wear on, patients being brought in and out as they were prepped, operated on, and send to Post Op for recovery. Radar was keeping lists of wounded, trying to get units and backgrounds so he could match them up later, when there was more time. Right by his side was Father Mulcahy, speaking to the wounded and the staff, his quiet gentleness giving strength to the flagging energies of the doctors, nurses, and corpsmen. He hadn't had to perform Last Rites yet that night, and hoped not to. Prayers were a constant order of the day for the man of God.

Finally, sometime in the middle of the almost daily ordeal, Sam Flagg slipped out of the O.R.

Continued in Chapter 15: --- when written ---


	15. Confrontations and Revelations

Title: Confrontations and Revelations

Author: Sam

Series: I Spy With My Little GI: 15 / 17

Characters: Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy; Captain Emil Standish (new); "Hawkeye" Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce; "Trapper" Captain John MacIntyre; Major Frank Burns; Major Margaret Houlihan; Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake; "Radar" Corporal Walter O'Reilly; Nurse Kealani Kellye; Private Igor Straminsky; Corporal Max Klinger; Colonel Sam Flagg; Sergeant Zelmo Zale

General Reader Note: Thank you all for your continued patience. As you may know, my health has been poor. On top of that, my father died on January 21, 2006 (so the anniversary is coming up). Around Easter in 2006, my brother's guardian Ingrid (Jimmy's handicapped and lived with a care-giver) died, as well. Then, as if that wasn't enough, my cat was ripped to death by dogs near Easter. My friend Randy (38 years old) died of diabetes-related-dialysis complications on December 4, 2006. Thus, last year was particularly hard. Writing hasn't held the pleasure for me it used to, but slowly I am getting back the interest. I have been releasing teasers for other stories I'm in the middle of, so here is this one. Please se the "end" of this teaser of other notes of import. I will update this as soon as possible.

Feedback: Please? I love comments.

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Seven long, bone-weary hours later, the patients had all been taken care of. Naturally, the surgeons, having gone on only a couple hours of sleep, were practically falling down. Emil Standish had even had two doses of pain medication during surgery; it was the only way she'd been able to keep going. Despite having performed only at a slow pace, and only simple surgeries an intern would have been given, her efforts were appreciated by the rest of the tired staff. Due to her aid, that was seven hours of minor surgeries less than what they would have had to do without her.

Finally, exhausted, the staff of the MASH 4077 drifted out of the surgical suite into the bright sunlight of the early morning. Too tired even to exchange grunts of goodnight, the surgeons and nurses drifted in different directions, the men joined by a very sleepy Radar O'Reilly while Emil stayed in stride with Hawkeye and Henry Blake, not yet heading for the Father's tent and her temporary bunk, though the good priest was following the trio in slow exhaustion. Thus, it was almost a quiet surprise to hear Trapper's voice break into weary song, the tune a rendition of the recently released "Stars and Stripes Forever".

"Be kind to your web-footed friends, for a duck may be somebody's mother. They live all alone in the swamp where the weather is cold and damp…" He stopped short at the door to his tent and chuckled softly, "Speaking of swamps, you coming, Hawk?"

Hawkeye grinned back. "Start the martini for me. I've got a house call to make."

"Oh, yeah?" Trapper's eyes lit despite exhaustion, "which nurse?"

"That'd be telling," Hawkeye shot back and gave his best friend a slight push into the Swamp.

Blake reached down and absently stroked the camp mutt's ears, letting the conversation wash right by. He wanted nothing more than a stiff drink and a soft nurse… err bed. Slightly dazed from the long hours of deep concentration and delicate work, Henry let his eyes drift behind them towards the surgery tent. He ran a weary hand over his stubbled face, but shot it out instinctively as Emil swayed, catching the other doctor's elbow, "Whoa!"

"Don't take your hands off of him, Colonel!" Frank, followed closely by Margaret and, of all the annoyances certainly not needed after a long surgery, Colonel Flagg. "We've got you now, you disgusting commie!" The last was said in an extremely loud voice, Burns obviously wanting to draw attention to the arrest.

A moment of stunned silence followed this triumphant pronouncement but was interrupted by Hawkeye's sarcastic, "I knew it!" and Trapper's "He can't be!" Henry frowned at Emil, then turned that frown on Colonel Flagg, skipping over Burns completely, a fact not lost on Margaret, who immediately pulled herself stiff in indignation for her fellow major.

Chaos suddenly burst forth as Trapper and Hawkeye began throwing random comments about communists back and forth, with the occasional compliment to Burns for catching him. Apparently, they were on the same mental wavelength, as normal, but Frank was entirely missing the sarcastic humor being had at his expense. Finally, the Father's determined voice broke into the mayhem, bringing temporary sanity back to the small group.

"Who is charged with Communism, Major?" He could tell it was most likely Doctor Standish, but wanted verbal confirmation of this accusation.

Burns opened his mouth to comment, pointing towards Henry Blake, still in a semi-crouched position with one hand tangled in the dog's ears and the other hand steadying Emil's elbow. Trapper jumped in before the Major could speak, however.

"Well, Father, since he told Colonel Blake to hold the commie, it's very obvious just who has been trading military secrets against us. The very thought of having fed him, bathed him, given him a place to sleep, rubbed his tummy…"

Stopping short, Frank's eyes widen and his face twisted in disgust, "Rubbed his tummy? You pervert!"

Father shook his head, catching onto the joke. His lips wanted to twitch, but this was far too serious a matter.

Flagg took that opportunity to step into the verbal fray. "True, the dog is a communist, Doctor, but we're not arresting him today. You can release him, Colonel… he'll slink back over to his own side, no doubt."

Everyone stared intently at Sam Flagg; if they didn't know better, they'd have thought he was continuing Trapper's joke. The truly terrifying thing was that Colonel Flagg was dead serious.

"I have the authority to put this man under arrest under the charge of spying for the communists." He gestured towards Emil.

"Oh, come on, Mary." Hawkeye gave Flagg an exasperated look.

"Don't call me Mary. Only my mother calls me that." Flagg's tone was as deadpan as ever.

"Doctor Standish isn't a communist, Colonel." Father Mulcahy was trying desperately to keep this conversation on the matter at hand. Emil's life could easily be in danger if such nonsense was believed.

-----

Flagg turned a hard stare on the priest, steady and unblinking. With a long, drawn out nod, he said, "And you would be Father Mulcahy, co-conspirator."

If it was mayhem before, all Hell broke loose then. Even Margaret found herself avidly protesting the accusation that the Father was a Communist. Henry's "Oh, come on now!" was overshadowed by Radar's yelp of indignation and Hawkeye's angry, "That's going too far, Flagg!" In fact, other people, attracted by the previously loud proclamations of Major Burns, were adding their protests to those of the doctors'. The fact that Frank didn't protest at all was lost entirely on the steadily angering crowd. Only Frank Burns, Colonel Flagg, Doctor Standish, and Father Mulcahy remained silent, and Emil's silence was only due to drugged exhaustion rather than a lack of desire to defend her childhood friend from such a nasty accusation.

Calmly, Father lifted both hands and raised his voice above the shouts. "Calm down everybody. I am sure we'll get to the bottom of this." He never took his eyes off of the Intelligence man, continuing as people fell into a hostile grumbling, "why don't we continue this discussion in Colonel Blake's office? There we won't be disturbed."

Blake called out, "Right. My office, now," and the entire group, onlookers and participants alike, headed towards the Commanding Officer's personal space. Hostilities were very much evident, and if it hadn't been for the presence of the officers, the enlisted men might have torn apart the visiting Colonel; Father Mulcahy was arguably one of the three most popular men assigned to the MASH 4077, right up there with Hawkeye and Trapper.

Upon arrival at the small office, Blake looked around the crowd with annoyance. "Go to bed, everyone! Officers, into the office." He held the door open as a small group made their way inside and the larger group grumpily, and slowly, started milling about, trying to look like they had business at least in the vicinity of the building. Henry let the door close behind him, unaware the Radar and Klinger both jumped forward to eavesdrop on the all important meeting. The two silently vied for position at the door, and finally were able to satisfactorily arrange themselves, Klinger standing and Radar kneeling, both with a ready stethoscope pressed to the crack.

As the door shut behind him, Henry Blake glanced around the room and moved to the chair behind his desk. Normally ineffectual with command decisions, he was too angry over the offensive remarks made by Flagg to think. As he wasn't letting himself think, he wasn't second guessing himself. At that moment one could almost see how Henry had been given a command; he wasn't bumbling or stuttering one whit. Too incensed to sit, Henry stood there, glaring at Colonel Flagg as he demanded, "Okay, Colonel, you've got my full attention, and that of the command staff, now. You better have a damn good reason of accusing my Chaplain of being a Communist."

Margaret, her mothering instincts, which had first driven her into the nursing field, took hold and she silently put a firm hand on Emil's shoulder, forcing the wounded doctor into the one open seat. The other seat had been claimed by Sam Flagg. The Head Nurse may have been gung-ho about arresting the alleged homosexual Communist, Standish, but she regretted allowing the Father's name to be mentioned at all. A priest couldn't help who came to him in confession or what was said, after all. She was sure the Father would have come forward on his own, if they hadn't pressed the matter so quickly. After all, it had been less then forty-eight hours since Emil first arrived at the 4077th.

Flagg looked around the room at the encouraging sneer from Burns, to the worried frown of Houlihan, and over the hostile glares of MacIntyre, Pierce, and Blake. He skipped the almost drugged look over the main accused, not taken in for a moment by that docile act. The Colonel's gaze finally rested on the troubled, yet calm, expression in the priest's face.

Apparently just as touchy as accusing the dog last night was the subject of the Chaplain to these surgeons. Medical personnel could be so weird. A strategic mistake, perhaps, revealing his cards against Father Mulcahy before securing the charges against Standish, but Flagg could get around the unfriendly reactions. He'd start by answering the questions, limited answers, to be sure, but answers. That would regain the cooperation of this twisted staff.

"I never claimed the priest to be a Communist." There, that should put them off guard. Sam Flagg didn't seem aware that his remark hadn't even seemed to confuse, much less appease, his listeners. "I said he was a co-conspirator. Father Mulcahy knows this man to be a spy and has not brought the information to the appropriate authorities." He watched the beginning of belief dawning in the eyes of those present.

Ah, a good call, that one. Apparently, the Father's habit of sheltering those in the wrong was as well known to these men as to Higher Intelligence. It always kept the Father in its sites, though HQ was not yet concerned enough to have him fully investigated or restricted. Sam briefly wondered if this would be that final straw that toppled the camel. Benignly, Sam continued with his own version of intelligence. "A co-conspirator, but not a Communist. We're not after the priest; we're after the spy. Central Intelligence knows he's here…"

Blake interrupted, his tone no less hostile. "What evidence against Standish do you have?"

"Are you trying to harbor a criminal, Colonel?" Flagg suddenly let himself lean forward, staring intently at the Base Commander.

A murmur of protest, quickly suppressed, rose from the officers.

The father's voice cut across the room, clear and steady. He didn't raise his voice too loudly, but still his words froze the other officers, bringing their full attention to the normally quiet, gentle man. "Emil is a spy, but not for the Communists." He looked directly at Emil, apology in his soft eyes, then turned his attention on Sam Flagg. "Emil works for America, going under cover and weeding out medical malpractice in the military."

"Ah, so he's here for Frank."

Burns sent a glare at Trapper, but didn't get to defend himself as Flagg broke in with "A likely story, MacIntyre."

"It's true," Father insisted, looking at his old friend and noting, in worry, that the woman was practically asleep in the chair.

Frank Burns frowned and continued, "Even if he's an American spy, which I doubt, there's still something wrong with him."

Everyone looked towards the drugged redhead, noting the too pale skin, the bruising around the hazel eyes, and the sideways list as Emil slumped in the chair. Flagg frowned, crossed his arms over his chest, and shook his head. "There is definitely something wrong with that man. He acts odd."

"And he showers in his underclothes," Burns added importantly.

Hawkeye quipped, "at least he showers, Frank."

"Yeah," added Trapper smoothly, "And does his laundry at the same time; very convenient."

"Showering in his underclothes is awfully strange, don't you think?" His tone and attitude were triumphant as he glared at the other surgeons, trying to drive home his point.

The certainty in the comments caused Colonel Blake to frown and study the young doctor. Henry was feeling the effects of little sleep and too much work, and his brain was having trouble keeping up now that his anger had eased. He nodded, tiredly, and said "I've seen him do that..."

Margaret cut in, sounding less sure of Emil's guilt, "That is odd, Sir." She looked over the slumping redhead and worry welled anew. Hadn't Pierce said Doctor Standish was injured?

Still defending the Father's childhood friend, Hawkeye added reasonably, "Maybe he only has one set of underclothes. He is from the front after all; those boys can't be carrying much." Trapper added a voice of agreement to the argument.

Indignantly, Burns jumped in with, "Oh, you can't believe that... propaganda, Sir! He's a homo! He's a homo Communist, and he should be locked up; he needs to be kept away from normal, patriotic men like Margaret and me."

Major Houlihan sent a warning glare at Frank, but he missed it.

Father Mulcahy tried to speak again, but was immediately cut off by a small argument that broke out. Burns, Flagg, and Margaret were arguing the merits of Emil being homosexual, though Major Houlihan didn't agree about the Communist factor; she didn't think the priest would actually lie. Hawkeye, Trapper, and Henry Blake were arguing on behalf of Emil, despite the peculiar behaviors. The argument threatened to get beyond heated, with only Emil staying out of the fight, practically asleep in her chair.

Finally, Blake slammed his hands on the desk, causing even Emil to jump in shock. "Enough!" Looking as surprised by his own behavior as everyone else, Blake flushed and turned to Flagg, as the only other person present with equal rank. "Uh, sorry, Colonel." He turned away from the frowning Intelligence man.

Acting quickly, Father took advantage of the silence to jump in. It was finally time to break his silence completely; Emil's life could be on the line. "I can explain Emil's behavior." He looked at his childhood friend then turned his eyes back to Colonel Blake. "Emil is not homosexual; she's a woman."

Hawkeye seemed to be the only one not shocked, despite Blake's foreknowledge of the little surgeon's true gender. Father continued before he could again be cut off. "Emil's listed as a man on her records, and she was drafted into the Army, but her commanders already know." With a look directly for Frank, he said, "That's why she showers in her underclothes and why she wears layers in the summer."

"I don't think so. I like the Communist homosexual explanation; it makes more sense." Flagg frowned at the priest as Burns nodded and added his own "A likely story, Father," to his comments.

Father nodded. "I can prove it. Let Major Houlihan examine Emil. She'll see it's the truth."

Margaret looked from the Chaplain to the Intelligence man to the surgeon under question. Finally, she nodded. "I'll examine him, Colonel." Her eyes met her commanding officer's. "That should end any argument about Doctor Standish being a woman or man."

Eyes widening, Burns turned to his friend. "Margaret! Don't tell me you believe that stupid story?"

Shaking her head, Margaret looked directly at the other major. "Look, Frank. By examining him, I can prove just what the real story is. It's the easiest way." As he sputtered indignantly, Margaret rolled her eyes. "Oh, Frank, stop whining!" She suddenly flushed, as if she just realized that they had an avid audience to their bickering.

With a firm nod, Hawkeye leaned forward. "Henry and Margaret can examine Emil. When they're done, they can tell us what's going on." He was, naturally, confident of the results before the exam even started, as he'd been there when Henry had sewn up the woman's abdomen in the shower.

"Right," Flagg nodded. "We'll wait here." He wasn't going to make another tactical error and insist on this his way... yet. For now, he would trust Major Houlihan to verify the Father's claims. Homosexuality, after all, wasn't Flagg's big concern; he was after Standish for Communism. When Major Burns started protesting, Sam Flagg cut him off with a cold look. "Buck up, Soldier. You can check the next spy."

Trapper and Hawkeye fell to snickering at Burns' flustered protestation.

Henry merely nodded tiredly and walked over to Emil's side. Gently, he took the small woman's arm and helped her rise, letting her lean on him as they headed out the door. Margaret followed the pair, giving Radar and Klinger a disapproving glare as the opening door revealed the eavesdropping pair.

-----

Restless, almost bored, Sam Flagg found himself playing with the articles on Henry's desk. It had been at least ten minutes since the trio had disappeared and Flagg was wondering if the prisoner had made a run for it. Frowning, he realized that he should have insisted on being present for the revealing. _Damn! _The Colonel pushed to a standing position, intent on going on the hunt. He moved towards the door, ignoring the hazing Hawkeye and Trapper were putting Burns through.

The door opened as he reached for it, and a grim-faced Margaret strode in, followed by Blake leading Emil, a shell-shocked look on the man's face. Henry blinked around at the others present, but Margaret merely stood ahead of her as she placed herself at Emil's side, making sure the doctor sat down. With a sigh, the older woman nodded and placed a gentle hand on the injured woman's shoulder. "Doctor Standish is a woman."

Burns' mouth dropped open in shock.

Nodding, as if he'd known that information all along, Flagg gestured grandly, "Of course. But the real question is whether you're going to harbor a Communist or not?"

"Wait a minute, Flagg," Hawkeye straightened, "The Father is right about Emil's sex; I believe he's right about her being an _American_ spy."

Trapper nodded, his comment drowned out by Blake's enthusiastic, if tired sounding, "By golly, he's right!"

"No! He's covering for him, er, her!" Frank cut in. "There's no reason for anyone to be spying on us unless he, er, she works for the enemy. I say we hand him, her over!"

"My information says there's a spy in this facility, and I'm not leaving without him, even with the clever disguise of being a woman." Flagg crossed his arms.

"Of course there's a spy here. There're two spies here!" Trapper was deliberately trying to confuse the Intelligence man; he couldn't resist messing with the guy's already unsteady grasp of reality. "But Emil's a spy for the Americans... so that means the other spy has to be the Communist."

"Right!" Burns agreed, then frowned, turning to Trapper. "Who's the other spy?"

Hawkeye gestured to Flagg, him self. "He is."

"That's a very interesting point, Captain," Flagg actually seemed to be pondering the newly presented problem. After a long moment, however, he shook his head. "No. I can't be the Communist. I don't like Vodka." Everyone looked a bit confused at such an odd comment, but Sam continued. "No, we need to look elsewhere for the spy. I'm not him."

"Proof," Trapper jumped on Flagg's suggestion. "If we send to the 0239 for Emil's files, we can prove..." he paused trying to wrap his head around the idea that the little doctor really was a woman, "_she_ is really working for America."

Sam shook his head. "and while we're running around on a paper chase, the spy could be slipping over to the other side."

Houlihan finally jumped in. "We could hold her as a prisoner while we wait." She looked around. "we can lock her up in the V.I.P. tent."

"No, Mathius is in there!" Father's voice was troubled. "He's already tried to kill her."

Burns was shocked. "Why wasn't I told that my patient was moved out of Post-Op? He's got a serious head injury. He can't risk being moved this early." The group looked at him in surprise as the true meaning of the priest's words completely eluded the doctor.

"Mathius attacked Doctor Standish?" Margaret looked at Father in surprise. At his serious nod, she sighed and rethought the circumstances. Then, talking a bit louder to be heard over Burns' continuing tirade, she said, "I'll move in with my nurses for the duration and Doctor Standish can be held in my tent."

Flagg nodded in slow agreement, quickly followed by Blake's relieved, "Fine. We'll send Radar and one of the M.P.'s to the front to get it. Until then, we'll keep Standish in Houlihan's tent under guard." There was a squeak from outside of the room, and Henry strode over to the door, opening it to reveal a shucked Radar and a sympathetic Klinger. "Radar, you'll need to go to the 0239 and get Doctor Standish's military file. Take an M.P. with you." When the Corporal opened his mouth, Blake frowned, near the end of his limited patience after such a lack of sleep as he'd gone through. "Now, Radar! That's an order!"

With a resentful glare, Radar replied "Ay, Sir," and turned on his heel, striding quickly from the Administrative tent.

Crowing gleefully, Frank turned towards Hawkeye and Trapper. "Oh, you're going to regret this. Central Intelligence wouldn't be wrong about this."

Hawkeye nodded, "Oh, this is gonna be good," he replied agreeably.

The tall blond turned his knowledgeable gaze over the room. With a wise nod, Trapper said, "Maybe Burns should rest, Henry. He may need his brain cell for later."

"Ha, ha!" Burns glared at the other surgeon.

Margaret held up her hands. "We all need rest. And we should check on our patients before retiring. I'll help Klinger get Doctor Standish situated." When Frank opened his mouth, Margaret pointed at the door. "Now, Frank." He frowned, but slunk out the door with a subdued, "Yes, Margaret."

"I'll help with Emil," Father Mulcahy moved to his friend's side, but Flagg protested. Hawkeye rolled his eyes. "What's he gonna do? Slip her out under the fence? Come on, let the Father help."

Flagg continued to balk, but Margaret threw her hands in the air. "Colonel, it's his job to see to the prisoners."

As the group disbursed, Margaret and Father Mulcahy leading Emil between them, they were followed by the dire words of Sam Flagg. "If I find a tunnel under the tent, I'll know exactly where to look."

No one deemed to acknowledge the comment.

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To be continued in Chapter Sixteen, when written

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Author's Note: (answering Priestess of Dan): Two points of comment were pointed out to me by a very important reader: 1) There is too much Emil in the story. This is true, and I did it deliberately. This story is, in fact, all about Emil. It started as a very much different story set during Winchester's time with Emil playing a small, but very key role, but I realized that story made no sense without a previous story to explain Emil. Thus, this story is being written rather as a prelude to the actual story I wanted to write. By stressing Emil, the reader of the final story will understand the character, despite Emil's very "small" role in the final story. I hope that makes sense. And 2) There is not enough Trapper. Too true. I actually am not a fan of Trapper (I like him, but I prefer BJ). Not wanting to discredit Trapper by miss-playing him, I toned down the usage of him so as to get him right in the few instances I did use him. I realize this toning down in itself is a miss-playing of the character; however, so I will attempt to increase my usage of him. If I do not do him justice, forgive me… I never gave him much thought before this due to my personal preference, and now I have little time to sit and watch the first three seasons to master the character. Let me know how I can improve him, or any other characters, please?

Song Note: "Be Kind to Your Web-Footed Friends" is a comedy version of "Stars and Stripes Forever". It was released in the very early 1950's by Fred Allen. No one knows exactly who may have written the spoof lyrics, or what the exact date of the performance was; however, I am including it due to the very funny image of Trapper singing it.

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Be Kind To Your Web-Footed Friends

Fred Allen

Be kind to your web-footed friends.

For a duck may be somebody's mother.

They live all alone in the swamp,

Where the weather is cold and damp.

Well, you may think that this is the end.

Yes, it is, but to prove you are wrong,

We're going to sing it once again,

Oh, yes we will, but it will be just a bit louder!

Be kind to your web-footed friends.

For a duck may be somebody's mother.

They live all alone in the swamp,

Where the weather is cold and damp.

You may think that this is the end.

Well, it is – you are right!

So just remember:

Be kind to your web-footed friend!

Be ever kind, yes, oh, so kind to all the duckies!


End file.
